update of my world!

Hmm.... just want to write a post today. actually, went to PRU bash last night at ChinaBlack. Due to the fact that i didn't go there before, i don't know how the place is like. met our og pple then went to the place. actually, i tore the ticket accidentally but used a few small pieces of masking tape to stick it back. it was a relieve that i didn't get caught doing that but oh well, i passed through it anyway.
so as we are walking inside, we saw our og leaders are playing some gatsby game. (pardon for my spelling but i forgot how to spell it already) there were 5 participants and the game rules are just to spray at each other and see who's hair was the most beautiful or something like that. not really sure how was it like la but then all of them became abit er...... "out of bed" look i should say. so after they came back after the game, (unfortunately they didn't win but they seem to be quite okay with it. heard they were saboed. Heng arh.... never go earlier or else i think i may end up with them playing the game)
next on was a band with i think an albino lead singer. I'm not really sure though so i am guessing now. heard from merv that the lead singer can rock so was looking forward to the performance they are going to put up. BUt unfortunately, i think that it's just me who can't really appreciate the show because the whole scenario is abit weird. let me then elaborate.... imagine a rocker in the middle of the stage doing some weird movements which i simply can't understand and the audience looks abit dead. the atmosphere is just not right la... it's plain weird man... you should have seen it. They performed for about 4 songs then have lucky draw. nobody i know got anything so don't want to elaborate anymore.
And the music begins!!! haha... was holding on to my bag and was sians cause my og pple go and open a locker!! then i dunno what i doing also... never go and put with them but heng got kelvin... help me put my bag into his bag. Thanks kelvin! so after putting my bag, went to find mervyn and zhiwei and minfei and disi and friends. wasn't really hard to find them because they are just at the stairway! haha.... so started to dance. i would want to complement that the songs they played are well suited for my style. while dancing, mervyn and i are still like suaning one another. he said my style don't change. ( you think i dancer arh?? i dunno how to dance one. jk jk)then i say his style also never really changed. got one period of time, due to space constraints, he dance abit like a cat. haha... Oops! ("p then say his singing out of tune, out of beat. yesterday, our rivalry still existed but really fun cause merv can dance! Zhi wei was not bad but think i need to stimulate him to move his hands la... cause his hands always lazy and not working. disi also enjoyed herself. it's rather obvious that the alcohol did something to her. cause she was too enthu towards the dancing part already. minfei was good! she keeps on creating new moves man then like got teamwork, do together. really fun when you have a group. feel for it!
the cons side when dancing was that there are guys trying to take advantage of girls la... cause can see and rather obvious one. i think minfei noticed then she avoiding and avoiding. for me... i was safe cause nobody tried to get near me cause if they do, i diao(stare at) them then continue dancing. my tactic always works! muahahaha.... and there were quite abit of pushing when we get to the centre. heng that i didn't get pushed or else i sure scold pple one. last but not least, yesterday not high enough, should have asked for one more vodka lime or black russia. but due to the fact that we were all doing the teamwork thingy, everything was fun!
oh yea.... gavin joined us towards the end then i think he abit drunk cause he nearly fell down once. was quite shocked cause he really like fall.... heng got us then pull him up. gavin, dun drink too much okay. as for kelvin ad jeremiah, i can't find them and they didn't come find us so was kind of never talk. but when taking things back from kelvin, i talked abit la then take pic then go outside
Was VERY THIRSTY!!! so asked zhiwei and merv to go 7 eleven with me to go buy. i never force them hor because they also went to buy drinks. next time go must remember to bring water or else will die of thirst. i bought my fav pokka green tea, merv bought ginseng chysanthemum and zhiwei bought 100-plus. but all of them are not cold!!! arh.... thankfully, i got my green tea! even without coldness, it quenched my thirst. merv first reaction to his drinks are funny. the "hen nan he" look was written all over his face. so me and zhiwei tried and found out that the component must be of the following : 99% ginseng 1% chrysanthemum. but it was good for the throat. i finished mine in 5 mins and they took abit longer to drink finish. haha... so zhi wei went to take bus behind orchard mrt and me and merv took taxi.(cause he stays in sk so must pull him to take taxi with me) fortunately for me, he agreed la or else i will be .... scared... cause it's 2 something le and i don't want to take taxi alone. the taxi fee amounts to 16 bucks so will pay you okay, merv? went home and took shower, then message ( cause cannot sleep, my hair was wet) then sleep in the end. woke up damn early!!!! so sad... cannot sleep!!! arh...
but all in all, i enjoyed my day! haha...
Everybody go chiong next time, okay?
Cheers

new blogskin

just wanna test it. heehee.....

tried another quiz!

You scored as Drunk Cat. Put down the bottle, Cheech. Sign up for some AA classes and drink a glass of water. Bars are ok once in a while, but you shouldn't be sleeping at them. Drunk Cat 100% Couch Potato Cat 33% Pissed at the World Cat 33% Love Machine Cat 33% Ninja Cat 33% Derranged Cat 25% Nerd Cat 0% Which Absurd Cat are you? created with QuizFarm.com

Floating thoughts

just a short paragraph from me to keep you updated with my life currently. was quite satisfied with the module that i am taking this semester and hope that i can keep my oil filled up. probably, i'm going to die halfway or something like that. haha...
Life have been quite smooth this semester round as last semester was havoc due to the bidding and stuffs but it's all over!! and i am glad that it's over for now! However!!! i need to wake up like 0530h everyday since i don't live in hall anymore and my lecture starts at 8am. Anticipating the jams that can be foreseen, I have no other choices but to wake up early in the morning! Seriously, i should be adapting a healthy lifestyle whereby i will get to sleep very early and wake up very early everyday. going through university seems abit tiring but i believe that i will survive with my friends!
I'm totally drained but it is only the third day of school but nevermind, i will be able to go through all the "draining". Actually, i think i am sort of encouraging myself so people, just bear with it. with no intention to use proper english, people who don't want to see it can jolly well close the windows till my holidays come along. actually, i would think that work would be much worse than this but I should enjoy my university life for now but there did not seem any time for me to slack too much of my time.
what the hell am i doing??!? my mind is in total chaos and i do not know what i want to do now! haha... don't feel like doing anything and just keep typing all the way. that's my form of relaxation i think!
Cheer on till the end, people!!!

my last post before school starts tomorrow

I have been lazy and I am guilty of it now. Initially, my plan was to blog every week or even everyday during my holidays but I have been not doing anything apparently and in a split second, the holidays are nearing an end now. This year’s Christmas was fun! On the eve, slept the whole day, doing nothing but I was also doing some last minute shopping for my family members and some friends. The shopping was quite fast as I wasn’t in the mood to go shopping and I have though of what I wanted to buy. With the crowd around, I am glad that I went shopping early in the morning thus I don’t have to meet the crowd.
This Christmas is a little different because my parents have decided to celebrate it. We were suppose to shop for a present that are about 10 bucks and exchange under the tree. So I bought an adidas bottle which personally, I have fond likings of. Hmm… maybe I should go and buy it for myself. It’s quite cheap and the design is quite cool. Haha…. I shall do it tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. I also bought Guylian chocolate because my friends were recommending that it was good thus I decided that it would make a good Christmas present too. In my shopping list, I also bought a cat handphone holder for my friend who gave me a angel pendant in return. Feeling so paisay now since I feel that the pendant is expensive. However, my cat was cute. Haha…. I am also thinking of kidnapping it now. I mean seriously, trying to screw my brain into executing my kidnap plan. Bought a wine lover’s set for my small little boy which he has used of and I am glad that he appreciates it. Actually, I asked him what he wants or what he is lack of, he naturally tells me and I bought it for him. In exchange, I got a Seiko watch which is classic but I love it. Simple is something I always look out when I get my things. No flowery things and too complicated designs. He also got a bag for me. He says it was a free gift from the manager but it’s Espirit so who cares?! It’s actually, an interesting bag. I don’t have an exact how I should explain. I should get a digital camera now. Kelvin, borrow from you then upload. Haha… Actually, I think I should learn how to upload pictures so that I can let all of you see the presents I got. Also got a cup for the Christmas exchange of my family. I am not expecting so it’s okay.
On top of that, I also played mahjong for the first time on the real thing. Have been playing it only electronically. Think it was quite nice but I lost everything I had since I am doing crap on the table. Next time can only ask me to play mahjong if you are not playing with money ( which I know nobody would play with me since mahjong would only be fun if you gambled, play for fun was just for kids. But I have grown out of that stage!!! Oh my god! This is so unfair!)
Tomorrow will be the bidding of my modules, have some modules on my mind and I really hope that I can get it since I am desperate for them now. Hope that I can get them in the first round. Lol…. Impossible mission though.
Note: not thinking of anything in depth

quite fun to play with.

You scored as A Too Sporty Faerie. Your super active and love getting people around you fired up too. Your generally an upbeat person who loves their sport! Your great to hang out with and can always think of something fun to do, but sometimes you may need to chill out for a little bit, which is okay because you can sit back and watch all the change you've made. See All Results/Comment A Too Sporty Faerie 70% A Too Astral Faerie 60% A Too Silly Faerie 50% A Too Sweet Faerie 45% A Too Evil Faerie 45% A Too Serious Faerie 35% A Too Lazy Faerie 25% A Too Depressed Faerie 15% A Too Kinky Faerie 15% Which Dysfunctional Faerie are You? created with QuizFarm.com

what is the title?

Think I am back to my old self. The old self that loves blogging. So people, I guess you are in luck again. But slowly, I felt that inner thoughts are far too abstract and mind wastage for me. All I can think now is reading my books and slacking through my whole holidays and it is no joke that I will do that. For the official report of what I have done this week is as below.
Firstly, I have went out four days out of seven days, which I felt was quite stupid because I went to orchard for like 3 times this week, not that orchard is a very nice place to hang out but it seem to be a norm for teenagers to go there now. (P/s: I am still a teenager!! Haha… just want to say it a few more months before I officially step into the era of the twenties. It is kind of scary though but age is something that comes naturally, I think)
Was sort of thinking how should I celebrate my Christmas this year, without anything is mind is sort of bad because I seriously don’t know what to do. Gift list are suppose to be up already but my mind is too caught up with my new hobby which is reading novels from an author named “yi su”. I think I am having an addiction currently because I have been reading her novels for the past week and I managed to complete five of her books. It is quite an accomplishment since I know I dread reading storybooks but something just attracts me to her style of writing. Don’t ever think they are love novels because I think they are just imaginary, ideal life that not many will achieve, maybe 1 % of the whole population in the world or even non existent. I think that love novels are just a fraud, making life seem so darn interesting and without worries. Couples bicker about stupid small things and always, a happy ending. I seriously don’t think that I would be having that kind of life so I just stick with realistic authors. The author I just mentioned is more of a realistic writer. She portrayed life with different difficulties and make me have a different perspective of life. Not that it had changed me totally but small changes will lead the overall change in life. ( I am really sorry but I think I am starting to write rubbish) However, I will still recommend the books she wrote to people who like Chinese novels and realistic ones. ( p/s: she has wrote over 200 novels until now and I think they are still publishing her books)
So much about my new found hobby which I am glad that I have enjoyed. Nothing beats a relaxing day without anything to do, drinking my milo and reading my books with one or two pieces of biscuits to chew on. Now I know why life is worth living. Heeehee…. Next on due is is is is….. I am not sure what I want to say. Let me think for one second…. Okay, I shall talk about the new “hot” topic that has been going round in the newspapers these few days. If you saw the newspapers in recent weeks, a lot of them were about Chinese in Singapore. Apparently, the government has discovered that Chinese in Singapore are not so well conversed in mandarin and some even think that Chinese is just an idiotic subject that pulls down their grade. I recognize that there are exceptions but the rising number of people who are feeling that mandarin are useless are increasing in great speed. thus the government set a policy where more subjects will be taught in Chinese so that the usage of Chinese will be more evitable. However, I think that this will not help a lot since that people will surely have difficulty adapting to the change, even if they are very well adapted to the Chinese teachings of certain subjects like mathematics in primary school, they have to readapt when they go to secondary levels. Do you even think that it is feasible to do that?
From what I know, mm lee thought that anybody could handle two languages, which certainly proved wrong looking at the situation now. My mum commented that what they want is people who are fluent in their English, have their creativity thinking but still holding on to their Asian values, like mm Lee. But if everybody has the intelligence of mm lee, mm lee would have been a nobody then. Life is full of contradictions. I knew that my Chinese was far better then my English ( not because my command of Chinese is very good but vice versa) thus I was wondering why I can’t really improve my English. When I asked my mum about it, she told me that Chinese is harder to handle because we have to remember every stroke of a word whereas in English, we will be able to write out the word based on the sound of the word. I pondered whether this is really true but after a while I simply gave up because I knew that interests have to play a major role in it. When you are willing to put in the hard work, you will certainly reap results. Maybe I should just face my problem that I have been trying to avoid this problem for as long as I lived. I should seriously think what I should do with it. Maybe I should read novels or something likewise. I am not too sure whether I will execute my vague plans in the future but I will seriously try my best.
I am too lazy to continue today. Maybe I will continue some other times.
Cheers!
( it was suppose to be a long time ago)

another post

Went out with my bestest best friend on Monday and the first thing that I see the change in her is that she is much more confident of her looks, wearing short skirt and heels. For me, I am still caught in the vicious cycle of not daring to wear skirt and all my shoes (except my slippers) are now in hall. Seeing her change makes me happy cause she has grown out of the era of “I don’t care about my looks”. I suppose lots of girls have either not have this stage or have grown out of the stage. For me, I have resisted change because I didn’t want to be part of the crowd and being “I want to be pretty” is just too much for me. I can’t imagine myself freaking out small pimples after a while or putting make up whenever I go into the toilet. She told me that change is normal which I have to agree as everybody will change after some time. It is a matter of what change has occurred in you. For me, through the first semester of the university years, I have learnt the true meaning of do your best and the rest don’t matter. I realized that if I wanted to compete with other people, I would have committed suicide and die. Also found out that I didn’t work as hard as before. It is my mistake and I make a vow that I shall not make the same mistake anymore and I mean it. if I didn’t do that, I have friends that will remind me so boy boy, next time cannot go out so often or else I can’t get my degree then who “yang” ni? So must understand okay? It’s for the future of us. You must also remind me that I have to put a lot of time in studies too. Although people may think that I am still immature and stuffs like that, I believe I will still hold on to my principle. :D
Having serious problems with my self confidence again, I mean AGAIN!!!! Oh my god, when will this stop? I ask myself but apparently, I don’t have an answer. I just feel that I am not good for my boy boy. He has already assured me about it but why???!?!? I am so damn pissed now. I think I will have to change this thinking of mine sooner or later or else I will be in deep trouble next time in my life. Something else that I have found out, the sea waves really has a soothing effect. Due to my confusion internally, I have gone to harbourfront to think about my mind. I needed to relax everything that I was thinking and the best thing is to feel the sea breeze and hear the sea waves. Nothing beats that!!! I am not sure about you but after being in the city for so long, it is the first time I think that the sea is a form of relaxation. I just love to sit and stare into the space. Blank my mind and forget everything that comes into my mind. Whenever I have insomnia, I will also clear my mind slowly. At first, everything will seem very complicated and crowded in my mind with a lot of freezy lines all around, next my mind will slowly be blank by wiping out the lines. This is another form of relaxation for me. Sometimes, I will be puzzled on why my mind is so cluttered. What is actually bothering me? I am not sure.

heehee.....

As promised, I’m back to my blogging. I think I should be blogging more often these few weeks and go into dormant stage due to the school days that await me in January. I do not dread my university life but whoever said that it was honeymoon was totally out. I’m not sure about other universities but in NUS, once you stop working hard, it will be hard for you to catch up. In my situation, I would say that it was rather true. In the past semester, besides studying everyday, slogging over tutorials and having talking sessions with my room mate, I was involved in a rather different event, which is a hall production which was held in August, I think. Time has passed me so fast that I cannot remember dates anymore. Time ticks every second pass me. The schedules are so packed that it seemed that time passes so fast. Three months would be a dread for me if I hadn’t studied and the period of time where I was doing practically nothing is just not the life for me. I realized I needed to do something that is fulfilling and I regretted not doing anything for the holiday before I started my university. There was so much time for me to waste that I don’t even consider them precious at all. But now, every second counts and I am just glad that I didn’t realized that too late.
I am obviously not talking about my exams. It is kind of a dread to me. Nevertheless, there are a hell lot of things that I can do besides having exams.
Learning to let go failure and picking up from there is a rather hard thing to do. I have tried it myself this semester where exams aren’t going exactly smoothly but I shall persevere next time. I shall push myself to the limit without breaking my neck and hopefully, there will be improvement in me. As you can obviously see, I am really not looking forward to seeing the results for this semester. Enough of that, I wanted to talk about other things other than studies (However, I would be very likely to grumble about my studies in the subsequent paragraphs.)
erm..... I realized that I do not have much to say other than grumbling about my studies. Let's talk about the day I went out with my very very good friend yesterday after I finished my examination.
I was actually meeting my friend (for short, I will use sr as it's her initials) and her friend at expo but I realised that my sense of time was too terrible that I decided to let go the opportunity to go to the animation exhibition. But to my surprise, they commented that there was nothing there and the exhibition was really small and there were stupid games going around at that point of time. I was actually relieved that I didn't do down as it would only mean that I would waste my time and money on traveling. We met up at orchard as I wanted to see whether there were any changes that had happened to Orchard. not forgetting that I wanted to see the Christmas decoration.( I am not actually looking forward to the decorations though as I wasn't expecting something great from the start)
when I reached somerset, I went up and there were people distributing the Singapore idol calendar and one of them were holding the flag featuring Taurik.( I am not sure whether I wrote his name correctly because I am simply not in to Singapore idol) However, the funny thing that I saw was that when one of them attempted to give the calendar to a girl, she just showed her poorly done Styrofoam board with SYL on it. I was actually laughing deep down when I saw that scene as it was kind of stupid in the girl's act. I don't know about you but I frankly think that the rivalry between the two finalists is heating up. Heehee.....
I met up with sr and friend and started walking down Orchard. But... I regretted my choice when I saw the crowd in at the traffic lights. I knew that I wasn't going to enjoy walking in Orchard today. Not forgetting the utterly disappointing decorations which seem like some unorganized hanging of streamers and whatever it's on the tree. It’s too terrible that I do not wish to comment any further. (See the degree of hate that I have for the decorations!) We only walked for about 2-3 hours and I decided we are out of this place. It was getting so congested on that side and I was thinking of my other half.
So we went to take neocard with sr and the results are quite satisfying actually. She smiled naturally, without spectacles and hair let down. If you want to see the picture of that neocard, go to my friendster and find. Maybe I will post it up or something like that. Have been slacking so much that this post was meant to be done on Saturday, and on Wednesday, I am still typing it now. I’m sorry guys. Have been feeling so lazy these few days that I have never entered this blog entry. So this is all for today.
Cheers!

I'm back

Seriously, I think I am not really blogging for quite a long while. I’m really not sure who has been reading my blogs nowadays. I am declaring that I will be stopping the blogging until 26th of nov, which is the end of my exams. Maybe some days in my life, I will pop up again and say hello to everybody, offer my inner thoughts and get on with my life again. However, the probability that it will happen is rather low judging from my blogging frequency nowadays. Have not been blogging for more than one month and nearing to two. Actually, time flies when I am studying. Although I have not been studying much or doing anything at all, all the lectures and all has been taking up my time. Slacking seems to be a luxury now and seriously looking forward to my holidays now. Haha….. the thought of it really makes me smile. Not really sure why but then again, I will have to mug for now. But the energy is still not coming out. hopefully, I will be able to pull through. For now, I will have to conserve my time to sleep and sleep. See you after the exams. :D
Cheers!

titleless 2

today, i am in the mood to blog again due to the slacking period that i want to experience during the night. it has been rather long since i blog. i know that i have been very lazy this period of time and that i have depression lately. it seems that i have got better. afterall, why be depressed? it's pointless and stupid. i have been trying to study this term break but apparently to no avial. i am too lazy to think about other stuffs and all. too much congestion of stuffs that nearly made my mind break.
i am glad that i am still surviving until now. although i may be experiencing the panda age now. i have get to know more people at least. feel that i dont open up usually. not sure why. i am trying to be sociable when i am not. some people say that blog is crap but who cares? i like it as this is where i consolidate all my thoughts. let me have a period of time dedicated to myself. not that i don't like my room mate but i would like some time for myself. it's just a paradox. i like to socialise yet i want to be alone at the same time. how many people actually feel this way too?
for today, i was packing my stuffs. with all the papers flying all around, i am getting irritated by the untidiness that i have now. actually lost two of my precious notes. wonder where have i put them. really wondering. not to forget, anybody has a good tape recorder to lend me? i desperately need one now as i will be skipping one week of my school and imagine the amount of things that i will miss during the one week. if anybody is willing to help me, please message me or just sms me? i will really appreciate it!!!! please, somebody!!! haha..... i am getting kind of crazy and hyper now.
oh ya.... something that i realised about myself lately. i don't usually give facial expressions even when i am happy or smsing or just messaging people as everybody around me tells me that i look damn serious when i am sending a sms and i can be damn dull looking when i am laughing in msn. i am really laughing and it's just that i am too lazy to show it on my face. people who talk to me personally will think that i am very dull as i have no facial expressions. haha.... think that is the reason why i am so solitary even when i want to socialise.
something to ponder upon today. i will be writing tomorrow again in my laptop and hopefully, i will be able to post it asap. :D

titleless

Decided to write a blog today because firstly, I do not have lab sessions at all and I really need to do something other then study. What have I to write? Nothing basically. I don’t have a very flourish life like other people. Oh… I suddenly remembered that I went for supper last night at fong seng at last. Was thinking when will I ever get a chance to go eat. Apparently it happened last night. Yea… my hall friends and I went to eat not the famous cheese prata, but the burger shop beside. It looks appealing actually as I didn’t eat it anyway. Wasn’t in the good mood to eat anything at that point of time. As a Aquarian, I needed space for myself which apparently my friends don’t realize and keep asking me why am I stoning, am I tired and that kind of things. Although I kept assuring them I am alright, they kept asking me and i…. hmm… (do not wish to elaborate more. haha... )
Time is just insufficient for me, people complaining that I wasn’t taking out time for them. What do you want me to do? Quit university and stay at home is it?!??!?! really hope that they understand that I have no life currently. Trying my very best to balance all my stuffs out. Trying to study in a rather unconducive (I know it’s wrong but…) environment. Suddenly realized that it really takes self-discipline to excel. I may want to make this blog private again. It’s so damn sad when I can’t get to say what I want to say. Haha…. Thinking of going to beach tonight but nobody is apparently accompanying me which is kind of scary. Wonder what I should do today. Commit suicide? Go and shop? Or just stone the whole damn day? Actually, stoning is really insufficient for me and with people pissed off with me. maybe i should have other plans
(as again, I am not going to really do what I stated in the above so don’t worry)
Cheers

Tired

I’m actually getting more adapted to my university life now. Making new friends and getting better at the pace of the studies. I am actually quite ashamed that I haven’t been revising my work and I’m actually trying very hard to do the revision now. I’m actually thinking that I would bring my laptop home this weekend to do some work. I’m actually trying to read my philosophy papers now but it seems that I’m feeling rather down. With all the workload I’m facing and the pressure to make new friends increase, my support has seemingly stopped to. Now, I know that small little things in conversation really matters. I’m really not good at speaking and have offended many people in a way. Maybe I should just shut up and keep myself in a room. My intended life is kind of in a haywire and I’m really not sure how long will I be able to hold on. The purpose of me writing this and not doing my work is rather obvious. I have been fighting the depression now and actually tried to deny it but now I am tired of it. I’m tired of trying to do all the stuffs at one go. I’m tired. Really tired….
I know what I have written seems like signs that I’m gonna give up and all. Actually, I just need a place to let out all my frustration. I know in my heart where I will go. Sometimes, I need space to breathe, need time to think and need time to be myself. Can’t really understand why I am in this state. Friends, don’t worry, I just need to breathe the fresh air that once were and get on with my life.
Cheers

beginning of uni life

life have been quite hard for me actually. i had another entry in my laptop which is currently situated in the computer centre and i am dire to get it back as i really do not want to rely on the computer in the library whereby there will be a situation where people who be staring at me like a hawk which is kind of irritating. less on that for now.
i am quite down on luck this few weeks but the situation has started to take a better light now. i am happy with my modules although it constitutes part of the down on luck part. Things has passed and I'm really glad that i am able to get 5 modules this sem. i really do not want to stress myself up too much as i am having a hard time adapting to the hostel life mainly due to the fact that i wasn't able to join the hall orientation and not able to find many friends in a sense. Sudden sadness also overwhelmed me when i was sitting alone in the small room of mine. sorry, but i was really homesick last week. actually this is part of my plan of getting into university life where i will learn my independance and stuffs like that. Maybe you would think i must be crazy torturing myself for doing things that are not neccessary. however, i beg to differ as i view that i should be more independant rather than always depending on my parents everytime. if i am going to do it in one go in my career, i will probably die. i am already dying here so please help. really glad that i have a support that i duly hold on to. independance is a hard thing for me put nevermind, i will get through it eventually.
i will stop here for a while as i need to register for my tutorial time slots. heehee.... i will be updating as soon as i get hold of my laptop.
Cheers!

driving + akido

After some time, I realized that I should keep track of what I do during my driving lessons so as to learn from the mistakes and not make it the next time. Just went for my beloved driving lessons and it’s quite smooth except the fact the I stopped after the white line into a yellow box when the light turns yellow. I’m not sure why did I do that, maybe it’s due to the fact that I misjudged the location of the white line as it is a T junction and the white line a far behind. My instructor also reprimanded me for not letting go of the accelerator when I’m changing gear and lastly, he said my U turning is not the perfect state. As you can see, I’m still not a safe driver but I’m enjoying my driving lessons. Sometimes I wonder whether I should go to the arcade to race some cars. Just for fun as driving on the road seems too serious some times and I need to put in 100% of concentration, tiring me out. 
 
Went for a session of akido where I’m just there to look and observe. Have been wondering whether I should join this martial arts where attack is not even important. There are actually 3 groups training but I figured out that I should look at the most elementary as the others are too complicating for my eyes. I was concentrating but the energy that is left in me is just too low for me to see the smooth movements executed. Thus there’s this couple that just joined the group and are starting to learn to rolling forward and backward. Seems easy when the sensei(teacher) executed the move but when the students tried to roll, you can see them rolling all over the place. Then the sensei told them, “focus your eyes towards the front because when you do so, you will be able to move in a straight line.” Of course the students followed the instructions and they stopped rolling all over the place which is kind of miraculous. Thus I was thinking, “when you are focus at one point, you should be able to achieve it in the end.” Therefore it led me to the philosophy of life one way or the other.
 
Next came the rolling backward movement, the sensei explained the positioning of the body and executed it in a slow motion. The students followed and the male student made it. However, the female student just can’t roll over even after a few tries. The male student was rolling in a straight line through the mat and seems happy with his capability to roll backwards whereby the female student is still struggling. After a while, the sensei came over and demonstrated how to do it again and pointed out that the female student is not focusing enough. Maybe I should explain why. To execute this move, the person has to tilt her head opposite to the shoulder that’s going to touch the ground first thus not spraining her head in the process and using her leg to push herself so as to create a momentum. However, when the female is executing the movement, her head turned to the back (maybe it’s out of fear) and the result is failure. I think that many people will also do the some thing as the female including  me as I fear that I would sprain my back and wanted to ensure everything is well in the process(if I have done so) and it seems hard to actually push her leg given the position they are in at that point of time. The female got frustrated and kind of give up and the male partner came out and helped her by explaining the whole process again. It actually helped her and she succeeded once. I also felt happy for her as I can see she’s trying very hard. Thus they went on with the next movement.
 
The next movement is the “walking on knees movement”. Due to the fact that I don’t know Japanese, thus the name sounds a bit weird. Haha…. so the sensei go on explaining how to do it and the students also done it in a relatively short period of time. I heard that it is easy to execute the movement when going forward but not when you want to move in different directions. But the sensei did it like it seems like nothing. I believe that’s why he’s the sensei. Haha…. it went on to positioning of the standing posture and grabbing the opponents hand with one movement. It’s relatively easy and they were practicing it until the end of the lesson. For the other groups, they are practicing the same movement for two whole hours. In spite of that, I still don’t really know what are they doing. Was concentrating on the elementary class as you can see. So yea, that’s all for the 2 hours I spent there watching.
 
At that point, I was thinking that I am definitely going to take a long time to learn as I have to admit that I am a slow learner and therefore the sensei will be crying trying to teach me. I’m really not confident after seeing the many details that I required executing a move. Although I was told that it’s a matter of practice, I’m going to be totally dead but I guess it’s good when you want to train your focusing and be a more gracious person towards the society. so I will continue pondering about whether I want to join. Should I become a gracious being on earth?
 
There’s a lot of details that I have not specified as I am feeling a little groggy due to the draining of energy when I was concentrating on my driving and it’s also partially due to the fact that I’m lazy.
 
Going to take a nap soon.
 
Cheers!

sO lOnG~~

Haven’t been blogging for quite a while, due to many things that have happened in my life. Having performances, buying clothes, bags, shoes and hopefully a new wallet too and excited about going to school to know new friends and activity partners. I’m not sure about other people who are going into university but it seems that I am not the least frightened, I’m looking forward to it totally. YEAH!!!!

Maybe people will start to worry about getting used to the new environment and the unknown future that beholds. With my understanding of myself, I should get used relatively fast and I don’t really bother about the future. Now you know the Samantha who is writing this blog. I’m kind of in a hyper mood, though I’m not sure why is that so. Maybe too much childhood memories have overwhelmed me yesterday.

I have been getting frustrated with my handphone recently because apparently, there is a problem with the LCD where lines start to appear and making a square out of them. Initially, I wasn’t frustrated due to the fact that the phone is under a year’s of warranty and the all repairs should be free. But when I took the warranty card out and read through the details, there is portion that wrote that I need to mail back within seven days of purchasing of the phone or the warranty will be nulled. Due to the fact that I have been living in Singapore, the nanny state, for far too long , I only learnt how to obey rules. I went to a state where my mind is unstable and if I have hurt anybody in the process, I would like to apologise. Have been worrying about the warranty even when I was in front of the service counter on sunday. I just told the service officer that I have this problem where the LCD have lines appearing on it and showed my phone to him. He just took a look at my phone and asked me for the warranty card. My mind was starting to make preparation for an argument where the company that I bought the phone from did not tell me about mailing the warranty card(which is true).

However, the person didn’t look up at all, he just wrote the problem and the details and asked me to sign thereafter. I was kind of in shock because everything was going on fine and he didn’t even start an argument. All the worry that I have been suffering through was all for nothing. That seems to be one of my shortcomings, becoming frustrated over nothing. Sometimes, I really want to laugh about my stupidity over certain things. Maybe that’s how all of us grow out of ourselves, finding how stupid we have been through the years. I’m not surprised with people who don’t because they chose to remain at a certain stage of their life. Are the afraid to take up new challenges or they just want to hold on to what they have, afraid that they will one day forget how they have lived when they are younger.

Let’s put it this way, when we are young and demanded stuffs like cd player that seemingly are cheaper to those of other brands, thus many of us begged our parents and get angry with them when we can’t have it as our birthday present. Some people bear a grudge over this matter and claimed that their parents don’t love them I’m guilty of this too. haha…. I’m always not contented with things that I have until I lost them and I will start to regret. As I grow older, I learn to appreciate things that may seem small. Something that I’m really glad that I’ve overcome partially now although there are still times where such urges do come back. (I’m contented with my phone. :D)

Maybe that’s why the Nigerians are the happiest people on earth. (if you don’t have an idea why I brought the Nigerians in, you should read the Straits Times today) with no material needs, they just need to have a home and food to eat, nothing else matter anymore. Maybe I should also seek this path of life, which is an ideal. I just can’t bear to let go of my computer and handphone and things that have integrated into our life. that’s why it’s best to start with nothing because you no longer yearn it and have an environment where having the latest products does not matter at all.


Okay, there’s one phenomenon that I noticed when was standing at the mrt platform. Females at the platform will always glance at the glass panels when they are walking or standing in front of the platform. I’m not too sure about the reason why? Admiring their beautiful builds? Anybody care to enlighten me so as to why they do that? Maybe I will explore this area in later issues. Haha…

Cheers!

maSs bLaCkoUt

After quite a long while, I’m back from my beloved blog. For today’s entry, I’m not sure whether I want to go in depth so let’s see how much my stamina can go after a day’s of walking in NUS and shopping malls yesterday, the fact that I slept at 330h, woke up at 0800h for a one and a half hour of driving lessons and just reached home. I’m deprived form strength and sleep thus my mental state seems a little groggy. I think I’m sounding very singlish for the above statement, I shall edit when my state of mind is clearer and if I remember that I wanted to edit. :P

If you are living in Singapore, I guess the most significant that happened to the country should be the blackout that happened two days ago. Before the actual blackout, I was talking on the phone and suddenly the lights went out. My first weird reaction was to look out of the window to see whether the other flats have blacked out too. I shall justify as why my reaction was as above. Actually, in Singapore, I have never seen a “mass blackout” and was always interested to see how it will turn out to be and whala… my dream came true this very day. however, the lobby of condominium opposite my house was on and I was saddened by the fact that I can’t see the pitch dark Singapore. I would say I was pretty excited that the streetlights and traffic lights of gone as well and I was kind of hoping some car will crash. Yes, I’m quite sadist if you don’t know me just yet. Therefore, I was running around, admiring the nearly pitched dark Singapore. I know I’m too old for this but it was like MASS BLACKOUT! Sorry readers, I’m emphasizing too much on the mass blackout but it’s really a MASS BLACKOUT. Oh my god, here I go again.
 
Guess what I saw as I was looking out of the window? Personally, I feel it’s quite crazy as people are actually taking photos. Taking photos??!!!! People, we are deprived of blackouts that people has to take photos to leave it as a memoir. There are also people playing with torches which are kind of expected because citizens of Singapore are deprived of blackouts. But the most hilarious thing that I saw is that people are playing with stick fireworks or whatever that is called. I was like ?!!?!?!? Are they expecting the blackout and have prepared stick fireworks to play with? Something that I don’t intend and bother to find out either. Later my friends started to message me about their homes have blacked out too and I started hoping that the whole of Singapore are blacked out but my disappointment came when my aunt told us that yishun is perfectly alright and there goes my hope too. (sadist mind at work)

I also found out something, we can’t use our handphones to call but we can message. something that buffled me as I always thought that there’s no difference in messaging and calling. Thus I found out that they are under different system and I guess I may find out further of how it works in the future. If readers have any information on this, please drop a note or comment for me, I’m interested to know.

As time drag by, I started to get tired of this whole thing, I can’t bath without lights, my beloved computer is off, there’s no fan to regulate the house and I have to light candles which made me perspire. Some people may think why we used the candles instead of torches. Actually, it’s better to use candle because it lights up the whole place while torches can only shine on a particular area so we can’t see everything in one glance. Maybe that’s my logic so if you beg to differ, it’s perfectly alright with me. haha…. after two long hours at midnight, my area finally lit up. Oh heavens, that is actually kind of great because I can serve the net(most importantly), bath, brush my teeth and sleep. Some people cheered and there’s no accident at the cross junction within my sight. Sobs. :P I’m summarizing because I’m in desperate need of a nap as I’m deprived of sleep. Maybe I will add another entry tonight or in the near future.

Also I would like to thank people from project arts as they brought us around NUS and recommended yong tau foo from arts canteen. It’s yummy and I’m looking forward to university life and hopefully, I can join the camp too!! Really want to join as I feel you guys are really great and helpful. Sorry about my crappy mouth yesterday, I think I talk too much. (something I’m surprised of because I thought I would be quiet little girl hiding at one corner) I feel like vomiting out of a sudden, I wonder why? Haha…. I’m really deeply touched by yu fen’s attempt to make the pancake and it’s a success! Wha…. I’m actually surprised and touched! (see, I repeated touched) also met serene and cherlyn from my secondary school, I’m quite shocked and glad! Hope to get connected to you girls and I’m desperately thinking of getting a shoutbox! It’s easier for my crapping session that’s on for 24 hours.

P/s: I’m not using proper English today so look out for other issues if you want to see my “more” decent English as my brain is not working properly today.
Cheers!

making pancake

today is an easy to digest kind of entry because it's all about making pancakes! it's my mum's recipe and she wanted me to type it out so i was thinking i might as well update on my blog because it's rather easy to make and i like the pancake. here's the recipe for the pancake

Pancakes

Ingredients:

Flour 1 ½ cup
Eggs 4 medium-sized
Vanilla essence 1 teaspoon
Milk 1 cup
sugar 3 tablespoon
A pinch of Cream of tartar
One small piece of melted butter

Method:

1) separate the egg yolks from the egg whites and beat the egg whites until it produces some bubbles, add cream of tartar and sugar and beat until stiff.
Set aside the egg white mixture(portion 1)
2) Mix all the other ingredients well(portion 2)
3) fold portion 2 into portion 1 and mix by hand.
4) Brush some oil on the heated pan for the first pancake so that it will not stick to the pan. The pan should be on a medium heat
5) Put a small ladle of the mixture on the pan and spread the mixture using a circular motion. Flip to the other side when you see bubbles forming on the mixture.
6) The pancake will be ready once the latter side turns brown and whala!!! You get your pancake!

so if you have time, why not try it?!

cLAsS gaTheRiNG

Had a good time with my fellow classmates at my friend’s birthday party. We had not catch up for a rather long time and I’m really glad that I had the opportunity to talk to them again in my lifetime. This is one of the relationships that I really treasure. Have you caught up with somebody that you have not met in 6 years’ time. Maybe some have met one or two of them but I’m meeting 10 over people at one shot here so what can I say? I’m really fortunate and glad that I had classmates that are willing to take the trouble to organize this gathering!
Although we had not much to talk about and were only cracking up jokes and updating one another of the things that happened in our life, the bond between the people still exist. Sometimes, we may just pop out memories of what happened in the past and laugh about stuffs that we shared. It is always good to remember how we gone through that period of time. These are memories that cannot be bought by anything. It will certainly stay in my heart. If you remember, I touched on memories in my earlier blogs and I commented that why do you still hang on to the old memories and not move forward. I had an answer to my own question. That is memories has unseen powers that will push people to greater heights. I believe the power is a lot greater than having aspiration because there is a certain degree of uncertainty in having aspiration but when we have memories, it is history but it holds a lot of values and it serves as a guide to how we have changed. I really felt so relieved that I took my time out to go for this gathering, a power from my fellow primary classmates has given me the power to face challenges ahead of me. I’m not sure how did they do that but I’m really grateful of them.
I’m actually quite tired after the whole thing but I wished to put down the thoughts in my mind now so that I will remember it as I read this issue again. I really want to thank Weitian in particular for organizing the gathering! Hope to see the guys again for the next gathering cause I have much fun laughing and talking during the gathering!
Cheers!

depression

I’m updating my blog! But it may due to the depressing mood that I’m experiencing that pushes me to update my blog. Don’t worry, it’s not a complain session because it’s a cycle whereby we will experience ups and downs and I’m currently having the down season. Since I have made my blog public, I noticed that I have quite a few friends who are blogging as well and that made me feel a fit in. I’m not too sure why I was feeling that but it sort of feel great as we will be updating each other without always talking to one another. These blogs will serve as a gauge for me of how my mindset will be changing as I go through different phases in life. I will be interested to look back to the earlier issues in 2 year’s time. ( I really hope that I remember it)

Depression seems to be a norm in most people and I think the most important thing is to find out a way to solve the problem and personally, I solved it through writing as what I am currently doing. It kind of relieves my frustration and makes me feel comfortable after the whole event of writing. In the past, I don’t write as I feel it’s useless to write to oneself but after I found out something named blog, I started to write in paragraphs and paragraphs although there may not be people reading it in the end. I notice a lot of people saying that I’m writing way too long but I shall seek the path my heart desire. Of course I would want to actually have readers reading it but I feel that I shall not compromise my writing as well. Thus I shall apologise to fellow readers who are complaining that it’s my style that I’m writing long blogs and for goodness sake, I’m not competing with anybody. Other people sought the route of talking to friends or lovers about the problem or doing something that they are really great in so as to sense achievement again. I have my own reasons of not doing all those stated above. Firstly, I really hate to bore my friends and family by my complaints because some things cannot be solved and complaining will only be wasting both of our time. Why not do something more meaningful? Secondly, I’m not great in anything exactly so it boils down to only writing. It rules!
p/s: actually, i wrote this issue a few days ago so i am just posting what i wrote that day. Cheers!