Sometimes, I feel we are on different planets....

Sometimes, I feel lost.... Sometimes, I feel sadness.... Sometimes, I just want to let go as life only accumulates sadness..... Happiness.... seems like a light at the end of the tunnel that is impossible to reach.
Such is life.....

Few will understand the pain I am goin through. =(

It's day two. Woke up with swollen eyes.... but there are less outburst of tears today. I chose to take it positively... I am bombing your whatsapp.... I hope that you are still part of my life and continue to do so.... This is how it feels.... to lose someone.....  

The moment I saw the caller ID, my heart sank. I had a bad omen due to the nightmare I have had yesterday but silently wished that it didn’t come true. Tears flow down after I hung up the phone. I don’t know why too… I mean it was kinda expected but yet experiencing it is a totally different thing. The reality setting in is unbearable. I wished things were different. It is just painful… too painful not to hear your voice. Promise me you will never do it again.

Had a great holiday.... The feeling of nuaing, sleeping, watching tv, swimming.....
Comfortable.... serene......
Just great...
The next working day is the one that stinks!!! :p

Couldn't sleep

Memories

Sweet, sour, bitter, spicy, happy, sad, fulfillment, disappointment ---> all mixed into one

Sometimes, I forget that I need to slow down and breathe. Maybe that’s why I am getting grouchy and edgy these days.

The new coffee is making me feel queasy…. Urghz….

Mind blocked due to the intense training that I had to do. Heavy head…. Getting headache…. Information overload is killing me…..

A comment from bf sparked my thoughts… On why I am not close to my cousins... It is not about blaming or not being sociable or being ostracized. I guess we just didn’t click or maybe different frequency. Actually, it will be incorrect to say that we didn’t spend time together because when we were young, we actually meet quite frequently, like fortnightly at least. So it makes me wonder too. I guess I am more comfortable to be not talking, as alwaysm and sticking to the aunties and mum more than my cousins.
I guess I am weird after all. Hurr hurr….

Focus focus focus.... I really need to start focusing.... mind have been drifting about too much!!! It's not productive at all!

As I am reading everybody’s facebook posts and blogs, I think it will be nice for me to reflect on what has happened in 2011.
In the first 3 months, I was still getting over my past relationship. The turmoil that I had to go through was horrendous… Crying until 4am every day and questioning my worth and what I have done wrong.
In the next month, I got together with someone whom I thought will be suitable for me. However, things did not work out because we have too much differences and the awkwardness between us pushed me to make the cut. I had really wanted it to work.... but it’s really just too hard.
In the next month, I got together with someone else again….. unexpectedly. It was totally unplanned for but I guess the chemistry between us made the situation a lot less awkward. Even though I knew him for a really really short time before we got together, everything worked…. magically. We communicated a lot…. Talking about our expectations, our pasts, our goals…. And I have to say… we have a lot in common in terms of our outlook.
Being in this relationship made me suddenly realized that when one person is really in love with another, they will always include their partner in everything they do. It’s not to show that they are attached or just to have someone as a companion (so that they won’t be bored). It is the urge to share everything they are going through with someone they love and wanting them to be part of the joy. I really enjoyed joining his friends to chill and do activities and I believe he did enjoy spending time with my friends as well. I also really appreciate the fact that he is willing to make the effort to communicate with my family and really glad that his family invites me over for dinner celebrations too! Of course, we both have to deal with issues that cropped out once in a while.
Another important event that happened to me was the change of job. It was really tough to make the cut as I was getting really comfortable with the company and sort of the “senior” (due to the amazingly high turnover rate of the company). But I decided to move on… as I think I am a believer that one cannot be too comfortable with the company and I really need to fast track my career. So far, I have started new things again and I have made a promise to myself to be able to show my competency so that more projects can be delegated to myself. We shall see whether I am able to achieve this goal by the end of this year.

A rush of terror gone through my bones when I couldn't locate my phone....
Wish me luck to survive today without my phone... no pvz, fb, safari while on the train rides....
The fear is starting to overwhelm me even before I step out of the house....
I really wonder how we survived in the past without the phone.

There is only one of me so I can't possibly satisfy everybody. Sometimes, I wish I could run away from all these. It is getting unbearable.....

=(

I'm going uk tomorrow and I am getting huge adrenaline rush now.....
I didn't even pack my work document. Guess I am really in holiday mood =X

面包与爱情

我只知道拥有爱情不代表你会用拥有面包；但没有面包，即使有爱情，要维持它，难如登天。
也许你会觉得我爱慕虚荣，但请铭记在心，现实就是如此残酷。

I am so going to bloody miss you guys man..... even though you won't know it...

刺青

昨天在iPhone观看这部由杨丞琳主演的一部电影。是一部艺术片但也稍微探讨一些有趣的项目。例如同性恋、自卑感、网络。。。是一部不错的电影但结局有点令人搞不懂。哈哈。。。