I had a lot of inspiration to blog yesterday because I have been seriously thinking that I am currently wasting my time.... surfing face *stalking people in general*, reading through famous people's blog, looking at twitter and updating the most mundane things of my life (not to mention that I dreamt that my family dog got slaughtered alive and I saw the slicing of the thigh. Oh god..... don't ask me why I have such dreams and never in my life do I want to do such a thing to the dog... I even cried in real life - which in turn woke me up)
Anyways, yes... I am bothered by the fact that I am not doing anything productive in my life - like wasting my time doing this blog as well. Worse of all I think I do not know what I really want to do. I am not a person with a *happening* life. I just like to lie on the bed, read some facebook updates, nap a little, eat when I'm hungry and continue with my life. I don't really like to complain or bitch about other people because I see no value in doing that and it reflects bad on me.
I am however thinking whether I can better manage my finance so that I can spend more comfortable. One day when I was going home, I was thinking..... damn.... should I just take a taxi, it will shorten the trip by half the time.... but when I got off the taxi, I realized I have spent 10 times the amount that I would have spent on public transport for shortening a trip by about half the time. It's not that I cannot afford it and will go hungry after it but it's just whether it was worth spending that money. Money spent so not much more to ponder about anymore.
I decided that maybe... just maybe I should really do some research on investment.... however, I do lack the motivation because I am just a person who is lazy in the first place - Not that anybody care except myself. I decided that I should blog about it..... the journey of my investment discovery.... so that I have more motivation to find materials to blog about and benefits me by having me to recall the things I have read through. I don't know how far I will go about blogging it or how long I can sustain. but I think this beats writing about mundane things in my life and not having any productive information going into my brain. lol 

really seem that writing popular topics can indeed garner more readership....
let's try.... LKY rumours~~~ hohoho

Although it has been repetitive, but... OH AM GEE.... It's August already. I don't even recall what did I do in July.

I vaguely remember watching the semi finals for table tennis and heard that Malaysia lost to China for badminton. Not much emotions evoked because I lack patrotism (the bad of being a PR? maybe?). But interestingly, the reaction by Singaporeans towards the bronze win is varsely different from that of Malaysians towards to the silver win. I think it only goes to show how much foreign talent can bring glory to the country even though it has been like 50 odd years since Singapore won anything in the Olympics and I take it that FTW has converted citizenship in order to represent Singapore. I remotely think that Singaporeans are generally pissed that they are footing the 250,000 bill as well as the president's flight to london to support them. In case you are caught unaware, that's the prize for FTW for winning bronze. In the case of LCW, people are consoling him and thanking him for uniting Malaysia for a span of maybe 1 hour or 2? Maybe LCW should become the prime minister for Malaysia ( sorry.... I am just joking). Lin Dan's comments were inappropriate though.... saying that LCW has to face immense pressure because for china, they can still win gold for the badminton doubles whereas this match is the only hope for Malaysia to get a gold medal. I really don't know whether the comment serves to justify that LCW didn't perform (because of the heavy responsibility that he has to undertake) or plainly bragging about China's ability to win gold medals. Anyways, at least both won a medal.

Late payment of credit card bills.... shit

Time passes so fast.... It's already July!! Can you believe it!!
Anyways, my travels have died down (phew~~~). No more crazy travelling schedule anymore!
Picked up reading again.... And have been furiously reading.....
Also completed my first round of D3 but the equipment changing are driving me crazy so glad that bf is happily taking over that part of the game. Not sure whether I will continue to train until lvl 60. Heez....
May be picking up tuition again.... And seriously thinking of getting a car if I am able to earn some extra income from the tuition. Will definitely be better for me and bf so that we can have total control of our travels and the fact that we probably will really need it.
Anyway, there will be a new contender for the car soon. Hope that she can pass the first time round, nevertheless. =P

Sometimes, I feel we are on different planets....

Sometimes, I feel lost.... Sometimes, I feel sadness.... Sometimes, I just want to let go as life only accumulates sadness..... Happiness.... seems like a light at the end of the tunnel that is impossible to reach.
Such is life.....

Few will understand the pain I am goin through. =(

It's day two. Woke up with swollen eyes.... but there are less outburst of tears today. I chose to take it positively... I am bombing your whatsapp.... I hope that you are still part of my life and continue to do so.... This is how it feels.... to lose someone.....  

The moment I saw the caller ID, my heart sank. I had a bad omen due to the nightmare I have had yesterday but silently wished that it didn’t come true. Tears flow down after I hung up the phone. I don’t know why too… I mean it was kinda expected but yet experiencing it is a totally different thing. The reality setting in is unbearable. I wished things were different. It is just painful… too painful not to hear your voice. Promise me you will never do it again.

Had a great holiday.... The feeling of nuaing, sleeping, watching tv, swimming.....
Comfortable.... serene......
Just great...
The next working day is the one that stinks!!! :p

Couldn't sleep

Memories

Sweet, sour, bitter, spicy, happy, sad, fulfillment, disappointment ---> all mixed into one

Sometimes, I forget that I need to slow down and breathe. Maybe that’s why I am getting grouchy and edgy these days.

The new coffee is making me feel queasy…. Urghz….

Mind blocked due to the intense training that I had to do. Heavy head…. Getting headache…. Information overload is killing me…..

A comment from bf sparked my thoughts… On why I am not close to my cousins... It is not about blaming or not being sociable or being ostracized. I guess we just didn’t click or maybe different frequency. Actually, it will be incorrect to say that we didn’t spend time together because when we were young, we actually meet quite frequently, like fortnightly at least. So it makes me wonder too. I guess I am more comfortable to be not talking, as alwaysm and sticking to the aunties and mum more than my cousins.
I guess I am weird after all. Hurr hurr….

Focus focus focus.... I really need to start focusing.... mind have been drifting about too much!!! It's not productive at all!

As I am reading everybody’s facebook posts and blogs, I think it will be nice for me to reflect on what has happened in 2011.
In the first 3 months, I was still getting over my past relationship. The turmoil that I had to go through was horrendous… Crying until 4am every day and questioning my worth and what I have done wrong.
In the next month, I got together with someone whom I thought will be suitable for me. However, things did not work out because we have too much differences and the awkwardness between us pushed me to make the cut. I had really wanted it to work.... but it’s really just too hard.
In the next month, I got together with someone else again….. unexpectedly. It was totally unplanned for but I guess the chemistry between us made the situation a lot less awkward. Even though I knew him for a really really short time before we got together, everything worked…. magically. We communicated a lot…. Talking about our expectations, our pasts, our goals…. And I have to say… we have a lot in common in terms of our outlook.
Being in this relationship made me suddenly realized that when one person is really in love with another, they will always include their partner in everything they do. It’s not to show that they are attached or just to have someone as a companion (so that they won’t be bored). It is the urge to share everything they are going through with someone they love and wanting them to be part of the joy. I really enjoyed joining his friends to chill and do activities and I believe he did enjoy spending time with my friends as well. I also really appreciate the fact that he is willing to make the effort to communicate with my family and really glad that his family invites me over for dinner celebrations too! Of course, we both have to deal with issues that cropped out once in a while.
Another important event that happened to me was the change of job. It was really tough to make the cut as I was getting really comfortable with the company and sort of the “senior” (due to the amazingly high turnover rate of the company). But I decided to move on… as I think I am a believer that one cannot be too comfortable with the company and I really need to fast track my career. So far, I have started new things again and I have made a promise to myself to be able to show my competency so that more projects can be delegated to myself. We shall see whether I am able to achieve this goal by the end of this year.

A rush of terror gone through my bones when I couldn't locate my phone....
Wish me luck to survive today without my phone... no pvz, fb, safari while on the train rides....
The fear is starting to overwhelm me even before I step out of the house....
I really wonder how we survived in the past without the phone.

There is only one of me so I can't possibly satisfy everybody. Sometimes, I wish I could run away from all these. It is getting unbearable.....