Tired

I’m actually getting more adapted to my university life now. Making new friends and getting better at the pace of the studies. I am actually quite ashamed that I haven’t been revising my work and I’m actually trying very hard to do the revision now. I’m actually thinking that I would bring my laptop home this weekend to do some work. I’m actually trying to read my philosophy papers now but it seems that I’m feeling rather down. With all the workload I’m facing and the pressure to make new friends increase, my support has seemingly stopped to. Now, I know that small little things in conversation really matters. I’m really not good at speaking and have offended many people in a way. Maybe I should just shut up and keep myself in a room. My intended life is kind of in a haywire and I’m really not sure how long will I be able to hold on. The purpose of me writing this and not doing my work is rather obvious. I have been fighting the depression now and actually tried to deny it but now I am tired of it. I’m tired of trying to do all the stuffs at one go. I’m tired. Really tired….
I know what I have written seems like signs that I’m gonna give up and all. Actually, I just need a place to let out all my frustration. I know in my heart where I will go. Sometimes, I need space to breathe, need time to think and need time to be myself. Can’t really understand why I am in this state. Friends, don’t worry, I just need to breathe the fresh air that once were and get on with my life.
Cheers

beginning of uni life

life have been quite hard for me actually. i had another entry in my laptop which is currently situated in the computer centre and i am dire to get it back as i really do not want to rely on the computer in the library whereby there will be a situation where people who be staring at me like a hawk which is kind of irritating. less on that for now.
i am quite down on luck this few weeks but the situation has started to take a better light now. i am happy with my modules although it constitutes part of the down on luck part. Things has passed and I'm really glad that i am able to get 5 modules this sem. i really do not want to stress myself up too much as i am having a hard time adapting to the hostel life mainly due to the fact that i wasn't able to join the hall orientation and not able to find many friends in a sense. Sudden sadness also overwhelmed me when i was sitting alone in the small room of mine. sorry, but i was really homesick last week. actually this is part of my plan of getting into university life where i will learn my independance and stuffs like that. Maybe you would think i must be crazy torturing myself for doing things that are not neccessary. however, i beg to differ as i view that i should be more independant rather than always depending on my parents everytime. if i am going to do it in one go in my career, i will probably die. i am already dying here so please help. really glad that i have a support that i duly hold on to. independance is a hard thing for me put nevermind, i will get through it eventually.
i will stop here for a while as i need to register for my tutorial time slots. heehee.... i will be updating as soon as i get hold of my laptop.
Cheers!