what is the title?

Think I am back to my old self. The old self that loves blogging. So people, I guess you are in luck again. But slowly, I felt that inner thoughts are far too abstract and mind wastage for me. All I can think now is reading my books and slacking through my whole holidays and it is no joke that I will do that. For the official report of what I have done this week is as below.
Firstly, I have went out four days out of seven days, which I felt was quite stupid because I went to orchard for like 3 times this week, not that orchard is a very nice place to hang out but it seem to be a norm for teenagers to go there now. (P/s: I am still a teenager!! Haha… just want to say it a few more months before I officially step into the era of the twenties. It is kind of scary though but age is something that comes naturally, I think)
Was sort of thinking how should I celebrate my Christmas this year, without anything is mind is sort of bad because I seriously don’t know what to do. Gift list are suppose to be up already but my mind is too caught up with my new hobby which is reading novels from an author named “yi su”. I think I am having an addiction currently because I have been reading her novels for the past week and I managed to complete five of her books. It is quite an accomplishment since I know I dread reading storybooks but something just attracts me to her style of writing. Don’t ever think they are love novels because I think they are just imaginary, ideal life that not many will achieve, maybe 1 % of the whole population in the world or even non existent. I think that love novels are just a fraud, making life seem so darn interesting and without worries. Couples bicker about stupid small things and always, a happy ending. I seriously don’t think that I would be having that kind of life so I just stick with realistic authors. The author I just mentioned is more of a realistic writer. She portrayed life with different difficulties and make me have a different perspective of life. Not that it had changed me totally but small changes will lead the overall change in life. ( I am really sorry but I think I am starting to write rubbish) However, I will still recommend the books she wrote to people who like Chinese novels and realistic ones. ( p/s: she has wrote over 200 novels until now and I think they are still publishing her books)
So much about my new found hobby which I am glad that I have enjoyed. Nothing beats a relaxing day without anything to do, drinking my milo and reading my books with one or two pieces of biscuits to chew on. Now I know why life is worth living. Heeehee…. Next on due is is is is….. I am not sure what I want to say. Let me think for one second…. Okay, I shall talk about the new “hot” topic that has been going round in the newspapers these few days. If you saw the newspapers in recent weeks, a lot of them were about Chinese in Singapore. Apparently, the government has discovered that Chinese in Singapore are not so well conversed in mandarin and some even think that Chinese is just an idiotic subject that pulls down their grade. I recognize that there are exceptions but the rising number of people who are feeling that mandarin are useless are increasing in great speed. thus the government set a policy where more subjects will be taught in Chinese so that the usage of Chinese will be more evitable. However, I think that this will not help a lot since that people will surely have difficulty adapting to the change, even if they are very well adapted to the Chinese teachings of certain subjects like mathematics in primary school, they have to readapt when they go to secondary levels. Do you even think that it is feasible to do that?
From what I know, mm lee thought that anybody could handle two languages, which certainly proved wrong looking at the situation now. My mum commented that what they want is people who are fluent in their English, have their creativity thinking but still holding on to their Asian values, like mm Lee. But if everybody has the intelligence of mm lee, mm lee would have been a nobody then. Life is full of contradictions. I knew that my Chinese was far better then my English ( not because my command of Chinese is very good but vice versa) thus I was wondering why I can’t really improve my English. When I asked my mum about it, she told me that Chinese is harder to handle because we have to remember every stroke of a word whereas in English, we will be able to write out the word based on the sound of the word. I pondered whether this is really true but after a while I simply gave up because I knew that interests have to play a major role in it. When you are willing to put in the hard work, you will certainly reap results. Maybe I should just face my problem that I have been trying to avoid this problem for as long as I lived. I should seriously think what I should do with it. Maybe I should read novels or something likewise. I am not too sure whether I will execute my vague plans in the future but I will seriously try my best.
I am too lazy to continue today. Maybe I will continue some other times.
Cheers!
( it was suppose to be a long time ago)

another post

Went out with my bestest best friend on Monday and the first thing that I see the change in her is that she is much more confident of her looks, wearing short skirt and heels. For me, I am still caught in the vicious cycle of not daring to wear skirt and all my shoes (except my slippers) are now in hall. Seeing her change makes me happy cause she has grown out of the era of “I don’t care about my looks”. I suppose lots of girls have either not have this stage or have grown out of the stage. For me, I have resisted change because I didn’t want to be part of the crowd and being “I want to be pretty” is just too much for me. I can’t imagine myself freaking out small pimples after a while or putting make up whenever I go into the toilet. She told me that change is normal which I have to agree as everybody will change after some time. It is a matter of what change has occurred in you. For me, through the first semester of the university years, I have learnt the true meaning of do your best and the rest don’t matter. I realized that if I wanted to compete with other people, I would have committed suicide and die. Also found out that I didn’t work as hard as before. It is my mistake and I make a vow that I shall not make the same mistake anymore and I mean it. if I didn’t do that, I have friends that will remind me so boy boy, next time cannot go out so often or else I can’t get my degree then who “yang” ni? So must understand okay? It’s for the future of us. You must also remind me that I have to put a lot of time in studies too. Although people may think that I am still immature and stuffs like that, I believe I will still hold on to my principle. :D
Having serious problems with my self confidence again, I mean AGAIN!!!! Oh my god, when will this stop? I ask myself but apparently, I don’t have an answer. I just feel that I am not good for my boy boy. He has already assured me about it but why???!?!? I am so damn pissed now. I think I will have to change this thinking of mine sooner or later or else I will be in deep trouble next time in my life. Something else that I have found out, the sea waves really has a soothing effect. Due to my confusion internally, I have gone to harbourfront to think about my mind. I needed to relax everything that I was thinking and the best thing is to feel the sea breeze and hear the sea waves. Nothing beats that!!! I am not sure about you but after being in the city for so long, it is the first time I think that the sea is a form of relaxation. I just love to sit and stare into the space. Blank my mind and forget everything that comes into my mind. Whenever I have insomnia, I will also clear my mind slowly. At first, everything will seem very complicated and crowded in my mind with a lot of freezy lines all around, next my mind will slowly be blank by wiping out the lines. This is another form of relaxation for me. Sometimes, I will be puzzled on why my mind is so cluttered. What is actually bothering me? I am not sure.

heehee.....

As promised, I’m back to my blogging. I think I should be blogging more often these few weeks and go into dormant stage due to the school days that await me in January. I do not dread my university life but whoever said that it was honeymoon was totally out. I’m not sure about other universities but in NUS, once you stop working hard, it will be hard for you to catch up. In my situation, I would say that it was rather true. In the past semester, besides studying everyday, slogging over tutorials and having talking sessions with my room mate, I was involved in a rather different event, which is a hall production which was held in August, I think. Time has passed me so fast that I cannot remember dates anymore. Time ticks every second pass me. The schedules are so packed that it seemed that time passes so fast. Three months would be a dread for me if I hadn’t studied and the period of time where I was doing practically nothing is just not the life for me. I realized I needed to do something that is fulfilling and I regretted not doing anything for the holiday before I started my university. There was so much time for me to waste that I don’t even consider them precious at all. But now, every second counts and I am just glad that I didn’t realized that too late.
I am obviously not talking about my exams. It is kind of a dread to me. Nevertheless, there are a hell lot of things that I can do besides having exams.
Learning to let go failure and picking up from there is a rather hard thing to do. I have tried it myself this semester where exams aren’t going exactly smoothly but I shall persevere next time. I shall push myself to the limit without breaking my neck and hopefully, there will be improvement in me. As you can obviously see, I am really not looking forward to seeing the results for this semester. Enough of that, I wanted to talk about other things other than studies (However, I would be very likely to grumble about my studies in the subsequent paragraphs.)
erm..... I realized that I do not have much to say other than grumbling about my studies. Let's talk about the day I went out with my very very good friend yesterday after I finished my examination.
I was actually meeting my friend (for short, I will use sr as it's her initials) and her friend at expo but I realised that my sense of time was too terrible that I decided to let go the opportunity to go to the animation exhibition. But to my surprise, they commented that there was nothing there and the exhibition was really small and there were stupid games going around at that point of time. I was actually relieved that I didn't do down as it would only mean that I would waste my time and money on traveling. We met up at orchard as I wanted to see whether there were any changes that had happened to Orchard. not forgetting that I wanted to see the Christmas decoration.( I am not actually looking forward to the decorations though as I wasn't expecting something great from the start)
when I reached somerset, I went up and there were people distributing the Singapore idol calendar and one of them were holding the flag featuring Taurik.( I am not sure whether I wrote his name correctly because I am simply not in to Singapore idol) However, the funny thing that I saw was that when one of them attempted to give the calendar to a girl, she just showed her poorly done Styrofoam board with SYL on it. I was actually laughing deep down when I saw that scene as it was kind of stupid in the girl's act. I don't know about you but I frankly think that the rivalry between the two finalists is heating up. Heehee.....
I met up with sr and friend and started walking down Orchard. But... I regretted my choice when I saw the crowd in at the traffic lights. I knew that I wasn't going to enjoy walking in Orchard today. Not forgetting the utterly disappointing decorations which seem like some unorganized hanging of streamers and whatever it's on the tree. It’s too terrible that I do not wish to comment any further. (See the degree of hate that I have for the decorations!) We only walked for about 2-3 hours and I decided we are out of this place. It was getting so congested on that side and I was thinking of my other half.
So we went to take neocard with sr and the results are quite satisfying actually. She smiled naturally, without spectacles and hair let down. If you want to see the picture of that neocard, go to my friendster and find. Maybe I will post it up or something like that. Have been slacking so much that this post was meant to be done on Saturday, and on Wednesday, I am still typing it now. I’m sorry guys. Have been feeling so lazy these few days that I have never entered this blog entry. So this is all for today.
Cheers!