titleless 2

today, i am in the mood to blog again due to the slacking period that i want to experience during the night. it has been rather long since i blog. i know that i have been very lazy this period of time and that i have depression lately. it seems that i have got better. afterall, why be depressed? it's pointless and stupid. i have been trying to study this term break but apparently to no avial. i am too lazy to think about other stuffs and all. too much congestion of stuffs that nearly made my mind break.
i am glad that i am still surviving until now. although i may be experiencing the panda age now. i have get to know more people at least. feel that i dont open up usually. not sure why. i am trying to be sociable when i am not. some people say that blog is crap but who cares? i like it as this is where i consolidate all my thoughts. let me have a period of time dedicated to myself. not that i don't like my room mate but i would like some time for myself. it's just a paradox. i like to socialise yet i want to be alone at the same time. how many people actually feel this way too?
for today, i was packing my stuffs. with all the papers flying all around, i am getting irritated by the untidiness that i have now. actually lost two of my precious notes. wonder where have i put them. really wondering. not to forget, anybody has a good tape recorder to lend me? i desperately need one now as i will be skipping one week of my school and imagine the amount of things that i will miss during the one week. if anybody is willing to help me, please message me or just sms me? i will really appreciate it!!!! please, somebody!!! haha..... i am getting kind of crazy and hyper now.
oh ya.... something that i realised about myself lately. i don't usually give facial expressions even when i am happy or smsing or just messaging people as everybody around me tells me that i look damn serious when i am sending a sms and i can be damn dull looking when i am laughing in msn. i am really laughing and it's just that i am too lazy to show it on my face. people who talk to me personally will think that i am very dull as i have no facial expressions. haha.... think that is the reason why i am so solitary even when i want to socialise.
something to ponder upon today. i will be writing tomorrow again in my laptop and hopefully, i will be able to post it asap. :D