heehee.... really think that i am becoming more and more lesbian
i mean seriously... saw alot of pretty girls around and sort of like them.... beware all the girls, i will be looking at you like pervertic guys! muahhaha......
another thing from me, i really look like future teacher-to-be with a dark framed specs. if you don't believe me, just ask jie ting or shurong. they will definitely agree with me.
now, i am thinking whether i should make a pair of black framed specs! haha....
just wanna crap a little!
March 04, 2005
February 28, 2005
what i wanna say is this!
HOWL'S WALKING CASTLE is really good or should i say fantastic! the feeling still lingers in my heart.
Don't believe me? Just watched it.
Don't believe me? Just watched it.
February 26, 2005
fun to play!
You Are A Realistic Romantic |
You are more romantic than 60% of the population.  It's easy for you to get swept away by romance... But you've done a pretty good job keeping perspective. You're still taken in by love poems and sunsets You just don't fall for every dreamy pick up line! |
February 25, 2005
it's not a matter of choice
because we are not given a choice
it's not a matter of time
because time is not there to wait for us
it's not a matter of trust
because trust is gained
it's not a matter of possession
because you are not an object
it's not a matter of sadness
because you are the one who created it
it's not a matter of happiness
because happiness is always there for you to grab
it's not a matter of being busy
because you are given all the time you want
it's not a matter of anything
because anything can happen
even the impossible is possible
haha... just getting cranky!
just wrote it in a moment of impulse
kind of like it though (at least i like it myself)
because we are not given a choice
it's not a matter of time
because time is not there to wait for us
it's not a matter of trust
because trust is gained
it's not a matter of possession
because you are not an object
it's not a matter of sadness
because you are the one who created it
it's not a matter of happiness
because happiness is always there for you to grab
it's not a matter of being busy
because you are given all the time you want
it's not a matter of anything
because anything can happen
even the impossible is possible
haha... just getting cranky!
just wrote it in a moment of impulse
kind of like it though (at least i like it myself)
February 17, 2005
ibook here
haha..... using my friend's ibook to type this blog entry... i think i very bo liao but then at least i am updating my blog okay? i'm now currently in school doing nothing. waste 4 hours of my life doing nothing so i have decided to write something and contribute to the society. haha..... i think i should really do something constructive so i shall stop here and do something more constructive to at least myself. lol...
Cheers!
Cheers!
February 12, 2005
Happy Chinese New Year To You All!
Hm.... i have recovered from my sadness! so be happy with me okay?! last night watch a show on forensic science! (IT RULES!! my next aspiration to work hard) it's about crimes and all and how the police piece up all the evidence to catch the killer. In this episode, it was rather gruesome. i can't be bothered by the details now cause i would rather focus on other stuffs. but the poor girl was killed by her friends after they raped her. it was so argh..... I mean FRIENDS! and they abandoned her in the desert for about 2 months. her skin was blackened and it was said that her body was badly decomposed. it was rather sad as the girl was only 18 years old.
it leads me thinking about whether this kind of things will happen to people in singapore. suddenly, i remembered the case of Huang na out of a sudden. Suddenly, i realised that we can't even trust people around us because sometimes, we never know what will happen next. Why does life have to be so complicated? why can't people be more innocent and stay at pure friends. the devils of money and s** are two main reasons why people target the people around them. why do they even want to invent money when it brings so much pain to people. something that i don't understand until now. is it to reward those who have worked hard and punish those who didn't? is it justified that those who had ancestors who don't work hard are bound to enter the vicious cycle of poverty? if it is really to reward those who have worked hard, then why some people have luck in getting lots of money buying toto and lottery. maybe it's just that i don't have the extra luck of getting money through lottery that i am complaining but it is a fact that can't be denied in any sense. another example is paris hilton. people are born rich and they just splurge on whatever they like, having a show for them, seeing them bitching around and all... No, i seriously think that is not justified. maybe life is unfair and that's why we shouldn't complain. blame it on the unbalanced world we have! ( which is sort of true as we always complained that life is unfair) nothing is justified.. why slog all your life to get that grim sum of money? maybe it's just a way of life that we are leading now.
__________________________
Happy Chinese new year to u pple who are seeing my blog. for those who i have not seen for very long, hope that we will be able to meet up soon! for those who i do not know.... good luck to all the things u do and for those close frens that are reading this... frens forever! OOps.... it sounds lame but nevermind. haha...
valentine's is coming and i look forward to it this year. my small little boy will be with me and my frens will be there. the other reason why i am looking forward to it is because my birthday lies on the next day on valentine's day! happy birthday to myself. just very happy that i have grown older because age is something that cannot be bought with money. experience comes with age. although one day i will be complaining about my back aches... i know that my small little boy will be there for me. haha..... Last but not least!
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO ALL!!!!
Cheeros!
it leads me thinking about whether this kind of things will happen to people in singapore. suddenly, i remembered the case of Huang na out of a sudden. Suddenly, i realised that we can't even trust people around us because sometimes, we never know what will happen next. Why does life have to be so complicated? why can't people be more innocent and stay at pure friends. the devils of money and s** are two main reasons why people target the people around them. why do they even want to invent money when it brings so much pain to people. something that i don't understand until now. is it to reward those who have worked hard and punish those who didn't? is it justified that those who had ancestors who don't work hard are bound to enter the vicious cycle of poverty? if it is really to reward those who have worked hard, then why some people have luck in getting lots of money buying toto and lottery. maybe it's just that i don't have the extra luck of getting money through lottery that i am complaining but it is a fact that can't be denied in any sense. another example is paris hilton. people are born rich and they just splurge on whatever they like, having a show for them, seeing them bitching around and all... No, i seriously think that is not justified. maybe life is unfair and that's why we shouldn't complain. blame it on the unbalanced world we have! ( which is sort of true as we always complained that life is unfair) nothing is justified.. why slog all your life to get that grim sum of money? maybe it's just a way of life that we are leading now.
__________________________
Happy Chinese new year to u pple who are seeing my blog. for those who i have not seen for very long, hope that we will be able to meet up soon! for those who i do not know.... good luck to all the things u do and for those close frens that are reading this... frens forever! OOps.... it sounds lame but nevermind. haha...
valentine's is coming and i look forward to it this year. my small little boy will be with me and my frens will be there. the other reason why i am looking forward to it is because my birthday lies on the next day on valentine's day! happy birthday to myself. just very happy that i have grown older because age is something that cannot be bought with money. experience comes with age. although one day i will be complaining about my back aches... i know that my small little boy will be there for me. haha..... Last but not least!
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO ALL!!!!
Cheeros!
February 04, 2005
Take the quiz: "What Kind of Soul Do You Retain?"
Free
You have an open heart and open mind and you chose not to let anyone get to you and the way you want to live.
Free
You have an open heart and open mind and you chose not to let anyone get to you and the way you want to live.
February 02, 2005
sad
title: sad
the only word that i can describe about my feeling for the past week.
nothing else can be more suitable for me.
what would my future lie? where would i go?
i would be where i should be going...
sadness.... it's the only feeling i have now.
when will it heal? i am not sure
if it does not, it shall be integrated into part of my life..
it would be... it's not my choice but i will live with it.
Thank you to shurong and jieting.... u have been my support all this while
what u two told me will leave inside my heart...
thanks to strangers that also gave me advice...
i grow... i have learnt that life will never be the same but life will never be stagnant... time will pass and i will too hopefully.
Thank you for seeing my blog.
the only word that i can describe about my feeling for the past week.
nothing else can be more suitable for me.
what would my future lie? where would i go?
i would be where i should be going...
sadness.... it's the only feeling i have now.
when will it heal? i am not sure
if it does not, it shall be integrated into part of my life..
it would be... it's not my choice but i will live with it.
Thank you to shurong and jieting.... u have been my support all this while
what u two told me will leave inside my heart...
thanks to strangers that also gave me advice...
i grow... i have learnt that life will never be the same but life will never be stagnant... time will pass and i will too hopefully.
Thank you for seeing my blog.
January 21, 2005
update of my world!
Hmm.... just want to write a post today. actually, went to PRU bash last night at ChinaBlack. Due to the fact that i didn't go there before, i don't know how the place is like. met our og pple then went to the place. actually, i tore the ticket accidentally but used a few small pieces of masking tape to stick it back. it was a relieve that i didn't get caught doing that but oh well, i passed through it anyway.
so as we are walking inside, we saw our og leaders are playing some gatsby game. (pardon for my spelling but i forgot how to spell it already) there were 5 participants and the game rules are just to spray at each other and see who's hair was the most beautiful or something like that. not really sure how was it like la but then all of them became abit er...... "out of bed" look i should say. so after they came back after the game, (unfortunately they didn't win but they seem to be quite okay with it. heard they were saboed. Heng arh.... never go earlier or else i think i may end up with them playing the game)
next on was a band with i think an albino lead singer. I'm not really sure though so i am guessing now. heard from merv that the lead singer can rock so was looking forward to the performance they are going to put up. BUt unfortunately, i think that it's just me who can't really appreciate the show because the whole scenario is abit weird. let me then elaborate.... imagine a rocker in the middle of the stage doing some weird movements which i simply can't understand and the audience looks abit dead. the atmosphere is just not right la... it's plain weird man... you should have seen it. They performed for about 4 songs then have lucky draw. nobody i know got anything so don't want to elaborate anymore.
And the music begins!!! haha... was holding on to my bag and was sians cause my og pple go and open a locker!! then i dunno what i doing also... never go and put with them but heng got kelvin... help me put my bag into his bag. Thanks kelvin! so after putting my bag, went to find mervyn and zhiwei and minfei and disi and friends. wasn't really hard to find them because they are just at the stairway! haha.... so started to dance. i would want to complement that the songs they played are well suited for my style. while dancing, mervyn and i are still like suaning one another. he said my style don't change. ( you think i dancer arh?? i dunno how to dance one. jk jk)then i say his style also never really changed. got one period of time, due to space constraints, he dance abit like a cat. haha... Oops! ("p then say his singing out of tune, out of beat. yesterday, our rivalry still existed but really fun cause merv can dance! Zhi wei was not bad but think i need to stimulate him to move his hands la... cause his hands always lazy and not working. disi also enjoyed herself. it's rather obvious that the alcohol did something to her. cause she was too enthu towards the dancing part already. minfei was good! she keeps on creating new moves man then like got teamwork, do together. really fun when you have a group. feel for it!
the cons side when dancing was that there are guys trying to take advantage of girls la... cause can see and rather obvious one. i think minfei noticed then she avoiding and avoiding. for me... i was safe cause nobody tried to get near me cause if they do, i diao(stare at) them then continue dancing. my tactic always works! muahahaha.... and there were quite abit of pushing when we get to the centre. heng that i didn't get pushed or else i sure scold pple one. last but not least, yesterday not high enough, should have asked for one more vodka lime or black russia. but due to the fact that we were all doing the teamwork thingy, everything was fun!
oh yea.... gavin joined us towards the end then i think he abit drunk cause he nearly fell down once. was quite shocked cause he really like fall.... heng got us then pull him up. gavin, dun drink too much okay. as for kelvin ad jeremiah, i can't find them and they didn't come find us so was kind of never talk. but when taking things back from kelvin, i talked abit la then take pic then go outside
Was VERY THIRSTY!!! so asked zhiwei and merv to go 7 eleven with me to go buy. i never force them hor because they also went to buy drinks. next time go must remember to bring water or else will die of thirst. i bought my fav pokka green tea, merv bought ginseng chysanthemum and zhiwei bought 100-plus. but all of them are not cold!!! arh.... thankfully, i got my green tea! even without coldness, it quenched my thirst. merv first reaction to his drinks are funny. the "hen nan he" look was written all over his face. so me and zhiwei tried and found out that the component must be of the following : 99% ginseng 1% chrysanthemum. but it was good for the throat. i finished mine in 5 mins and they took abit longer to drink finish. haha... so zhi wei went to take bus behind orchard mrt and me and merv took taxi.(cause he stays in sk so must pull him to take taxi with me) fortunately for me, he agreed la or else i will be .... scared... cause it's 2 something le and i don't want to take taxi alone. the taxi fee amounts to 16 bucks so will pay you okay, merv? went home and took shower, then message ( cause cannot sleep, my hair was wet) then sleep in the end. woke up damn early!!!! so sad... cannot sleep!!! arh...
but all in all, i enjoyed my day! haha...
Everybody go chiong next time, okay?
Cheers
so as we are walking inside, we saw our og leaders are playing some gatsby game. (pardon for my spelling but i forgot how to spell it already) there were 5 participants and the game rules are just to spray at each other and see who's hair was the most beautiful or something like that. not really sure how was it like la but then all of them became abit er...... "out of bed" look i should say. so after they came back after the game, (unfortunately they didn't win but they seem to be quite okay with it. heard they were saboed. Heng arh.... never go earlier or else i think i may end up with them playing the game)
next on was a band with i think an albino lead singer. I'm not really sure though so i am guessing now. heard from merv that the lead singer can rock so was looking forward to the performance they are going to put up. BUt unfortunately, i think that it's just me who can't really appreciate the show because the whole scenario is abit weird. let me then elaborate.... imagine a rocker in the middle of the stage doing some weird movements which i simply can't understand and the audience looks abit dead. the atmosphere is just not right la... it's plain weird man... you should have seen it. They performed for about 4 songs then have lucky draw. nobody i know got anything so don't want to elaborate anymore.
And the music begins!!! haha... was holding on to my bag and was sians cause my og pple go and open a locker!! then i dunno what i doing also... never go and put with them but heng got kelvin... help me put my bag into his bag. Thanks kelvin! so after putting my bag, went to find mervyn and zhiwei and minfei and disi and friends. wasn't really hard to find them because they are just at the stairway! haha.... so started to dance. i would want to complement that the songs they played are well suited for my style. while dancing, mervyn and i are still like suaning one another. he said my style don't change. ( you think i dancer arh?? i dunno how to dance one. jk jk)then i say his style also never really changed. got one period of time, due to space constraints, he dance abit like a cat. haha... Oops! ("p then say his singing out of tune, out of beat. yesterday, our rivalry still existed but really fun cause merv can dance! Zhi wei was not bad but think i need to stimulate him to move his hands la... cause his hands always lazy and not working. disi also enjoyed herself. it's rather obvious that the alcohol did something to her. cause she was too enthu towards the dancing part already. minfei was good! she keeps on creating new moves man then like got teamwork, do together. really fun when you have a group. feel for it!
the cons side when dancing was that there are guys trying to take advantage of girls la... cause can see and rather obvious one. i think minfei noticed then she avoiding and avoiding. for me... i was safe cause nobody tried to get near me cause if they do, i diao(stare at) them then continue dancing. my tactic always works! muahahaha.... and there were quite abit of pushing when we get to the centre. heng that i didn't get pushed or else i sure scold pple one. last but not least, yesterday not high enough, should have asked for one more vodka lime or black russia. but due to the fact that we were all doing the teamwork thingy, everything was fun!
oh yea.... gavin joined us towards the end then i think he abit drunk cause he nearly fell down once. was quite shocked cause he really like fall.... heng got us then pull him up. gavin, dun drink too much okay. as for kelvin ad jeremiah, i can't find them and they didn't come find us so was kind of never talk. but when taking things back from kelvin, i talked abit la then take pic then go outside
Was VERY THIRSTY!!! so asked zhiwei and merv to go 7 eleven with me to go buy. i never force them hor because they also went to buy drinks. next time go must remember to bring water or else will die of thirst. i bought my fav pokka green tea, merv bought ginseng chysanthemum and zhiwei bought 100-plus. but all of them are not cold!!! arh.... thankfully, i got my green tea! even without coldness, it quenched my thirst. merv first reaction to his drinks are funny. the "hen nan he" look was written all over his face. so me and zhiwei tried and found out that the component must be of the following : 99% ginseng 1% chrysanthemum. but it was good for the throat. i finished mine in 5 mins and they took abit longer to drink finish. haha... so zhi wei went to take bus behind orchard mrt and me and merv took taxi.(cause he stays in sk so must pull him to take taxi with me) fortunately for me, he agreed la or else i will be .... scared... cause it's 2 something le and i don't want to take taxi alone. the taxi fee amounts to 16 bucks so will pay you okay, merv? went home and took shower, then message ( cause cannot sleep, my hair was wet) then sleep in the end. woke up damn early!!!! so sad... cannot sleep!!! arh...
but all in all, i enjoyed my day! haha...
Everybody go chiong next time, okay?
Cheers
January 16, 2005
January 14, 2005
tried another quiz!
 | You scored as Drunk Cat. Put down the bottle, Cheech. Sign up for some AA classes and drink a glass of water. Bars are ok once in a while, but you shouldn't be sleeping at them.
Which Absurd Cat are you? created with QuizFarm.com |
January 12, 2005
Floating thoughts
just a short paragraph from me to keep you updated with my life currently. was quite satisfied with the module that i am taking this semester and hope that i can keep my oil filled up. probably, i'm going to die halfway or something like that. haha...
Life have been quite smooth this semester round as last semester was havoc due to the bidding and stuffs but it's all over!! and i am glad that it's over for now! However!!! i need to wake up like 0530h everyday since i don't live in hall anymore and my lecture starts at 8am. Anticipating the jams that can be foreseen, I have no other choices but to wake up early in the morning! Seriously, i should be adapting a healthy lifestyle whereby i will get to sleep very early and wake up very early everyday. going through university seems abit tiring but i believe that i will survive with my friends!
I'm totally drained but it is only the third day of school but nevermind, i will be able to go through all the "draining". Actually, i think i am sort of encouraging myself so people, just bear with it. with no intention to use proper english, people who don't want to see it can jolly well close the windows till my holidays come along. actually, i would think that work would be much worse than this but I should enjoy my university life for now but there did not seem any time for me to slack too much of my time.
what the hell am i doing??!? my mind is in total chaos and i do not know what i want to do now! haha... don't feel like doing anything and just keep typing all the way. that's my form of relaxation i think!
Cheer on till the end, people!!!
Life have been quite smooth this semester round as last semester was havoc due to the bidding and stuffs but it's all over!! and i am glad that it's over for now! However!!! i need to wake up like 0530h everyday since i don't live in hall anymore and my lecture starts at 8am. Anticipating the jams that can be foreseen, I have no other choices but to wake up early in the morning! Seriously, i should be adapting a healthy lifestyle whereby i will get to sleep very early and wake up very early everyday. going through university seems abit tiring but i believe that i will survive with my friends!
I'm totally drained but it is only the third day of school but nevermind, i will be able to go through all the "draining". Actually, i think i am sort of encouraging myself so people, just bear with it. with no intention to use proper english, people who don't want to see it can jolly well close the windows till my holidays come along. actually, i would think that work would be much worse than this but I should enjoy my university life for now but there did not seem any time for me to slack too much of my time.
what the hell am i doing??!? my mind is in total chaos and i do not know what i want to do now! haha... don't feel like doing anything and just keep typing all the way. that's my form of relaxation i think!
Cheer on till the end, people!!!
January 09, 2005
my last post before school starts tomorrow
I have been lazy and I am guilty of it now. Initially, my plan was to blog every week or even everyday during my holidays but I have been not doing anything apparently and in a split second, the holidays are nearing an end now. This year’s Christmas was fun! On the eve, slept the whole day, doing nothing but I was also doing some last minute shopping for my family members and some friends. The shopping was quite fast as I wasn’t in the mood to go shopping and I have though of what I wanted to buy. With the crowd around, I am glad that I went shopping early in the morning thus I don’t have to meet the crowd.
This Christmas is a little different because my parents have decided to celebrate it. We were suppose to shop for a present that are about 10 bucks and exchange under the tree. So I bought an adidas bottle which personally, I have fond likings of. Hmm… maybe I should go and buy it for myself. It’s quite cheap and the design is quite cool. Haha…. I shall do it tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. I also bought Guylian chocolate because my friends were recommending that it was good thus I decided that it would make a good Christmas present too. In my shopping list, I also bought a cat handphone holder for my friend who gave me a angel pendant in return. Feeling so paisay now since I feel that the pendant is expensive. However, my cat was cute. Haha…. I am also thinking of kidnapping it now. I mean seriously, trying to screw my brain into executing my kidnap plan. Bought a wine lover’s set for my small little boy which he has used of and I am glad that he appreciates it. Actually, I asked him what he wants or what he is lack of, he naturally tells me and I bought it for him. In exchange, I got a Seiko watch which is classic but I love it. Simple is something I always look out when I get my things. No flowery things and too complicated designs. He also got a bag for me. He says it was a free gift from the manager but it’s Espirit so who cares?! It’s actually, an interesting bag. I don’t have an exact how I should explain. I should get a digital camera now. Kelvin, borrow from you then upload. Haha… Actually, I think I should learn how to upload pictures so that I can let all of you see the presents I got. Also got a cup for the Christmas exchange of my family. I am not expecting so it’s okay.
On top of that, I also played mahjong for the first time on the real thing. Have been playing it only electronically. Think it was quite nice but I lost everything I had since I am doing crap on the table. Next time can only ask me to play mahjong if you are not playing with money ( which I know nobody would play with me since mahjong would only be fun if you gambled, play for fun was just for kids. But I have grown out of that stage!!! Oh my god! This is so unfair!)
Tomorrow will be the bidding of my modules, have some modules on my mind and I really hope that I can get it since I am desperate for them now. Hope that I can get them in the first round. Lol…. Impossible mission though.
Note: not thinking of anything in depth
This Christmas is a little different because my parents have decided to celebrate it. We were suppose to shop for a present that are about 10 bucks and exchange under the tree. So I bought an adidas bottle which personally, I have fond likings of. Hmm… maybe I should go and buy it for myself. It’s quite cheap and the design is quite cool. Haha…. I shall do it tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. I also bought Guylian chocolate because my friends were recommending that it was good thus I decided that it would make a good Christmas present too. In my shopping list, I also bought a cat handphone holder for my friend who gave me a angel pendant in return. Feeling so paisay now since I feel that the pendant is expensive. However, my cat was cute. Haha…. I am also thinking of kidnapping it now. I mean seriously, trying to screw my brain into executing my kidnap plan. Bought a wine lover’s set for my small little boy which he has used of and I am glad that he appreciates it. Actually, I asked him what he wants or what he is lack of, he naturally tells me and I bought it for him. In exchange, I got a Seiko watch which is classic but I love it. Simple is something I always look out when I get my things. No flowery things and too complicated designs. He also got a bag for me. He says it was a free gift from the manager but it’s Espirit so who cares?! It’s actually, an interesting bag. I don’t have an exact how I should explain. I should get a digital camera now. Kelvin, borrow from you then upload. Haha… Actually, I think I should learn how to upload pictures so that I can let all of you see the presents I got. Also got a cup for the Christmas exchange of my family. I am not expecting so it’s okay.
On top of that, I also played mahjong for the first time on the real thing. Have been playing it only electronically. Think it was quite nice but I lost everything I had since I am doing crap on the table. Next time can only ask me to play mahjong if you are not playing with money ( which I know nobody would play with me since mahjong would only be fun if you gambled, play for fun was just for kids. But I have grown out of that stage!!! Oh my god! This is so unfair!)
Tomorrow will be the bidding of my modules, have some modules on my mind and I really hope that I can get it since I am desperate for them now. Hope that I can get them in the first round. Lol…. Impossible mission though.
Note: not thinking of anything in depth
quite fun to play with.
 | You scored as A Too Sporty Faerie. Your super active and love getting people around you fired up too. Your generally an upbeat person who loves their sport! Your great to hang out with and can always think of something fun to do, but sometimes you may need to chill out for a little bit, which is okay because you can sit back and watch all the change you've made.
Which Dysfunctional Faerie are You? created with QuizFarm.com |
December 27, 2004
what is the title?
Think I am back to my old self. The old self that loves blogging. So people, I guess you are in luck again. But slowly, I felt that inner thoughts are far too abstract and mind wastage for me. All I can think now is reading my books and slacking through my whole holidays and it is no joke that I will do that. For the official report of what I have done this week is as below.
Firstly, I have went out four days out of seven days, which I felt was quite stupid because I went to orchard for like 3 times this week, not that orchard is a very nice place to hang out but it seem to be a norm for teenagers to go there now. (P/s: I am still a teenager!! Haha… just want to say it a few more months before I officially step into the era of the twenties. It is kind of scary though but age is something that comes naturally, I think)
Was sort of thinking how should I celebrate my Christmas this year, without anything is mind is sort of bad because I seriously don’t know what to do. Gift list are suppose to be up already but my mind is too caught up with my new hobby which is reading novels from an author named “yi su”. I think I am having an addiction currently because I have been reading her novels for the past week and I managed to complete five of her books. It is quite an accomplishment since I know I dread reading storybooks but something just attracts me to her style of writing. Don’t ever think they are love novels because I think they are just imaginary, ideal life that not many will achieve, maybe 1 % of the whole population in the world or even non existent. I think that love novels are just a fraud, making life seem so darn interesting and without worries. Couples bicker about stupid small things and always, a happy ending. I seriously don’t think that I would be having that kind of life so I just stick with realistic authors. The author I just mentioned is more of a realistic writer. She portrayed life with different difficulties and make me have a different perspective of life. Not that it had changed me totally but small changes will lead the overall change in life. ( I am really sorry but I think I am starting to write rubbish) However, I will still recommend the books she wrote to people who like Chinese novels and realistic ones. ( p/s: she has wrote over 200 novels until now and I think they are still publishing her books)
So much about my new found hobby which I am glad that I have enjoyed. Nothing beats a relaxing day without anything to do, drinking my milo and reading my books with one or two pieces of biscuits to chew on. Now I know why life is worth living. Heeehee…. Next on due is is is is….. I am not sure what I want to say. Let me think for one second…. Okay, I shall talk about the new “hot” topic that has been going round in the newspapers these few days. If you saw the newspapers in recent weeks, a lot of them were about Chinese in Singapore. Apparently, the government has discovered that Chinese in Singapore are not so well conversed in mandarin and some even think that Chinese is just an idiotic subject that pulls down their grade. I recognize that there are exceptions but the rising number of people who are feeling that mandarin are useless are increasing in great speed. thus the government set a policy where more subjects will be taught in Chinese so that the usage of Chinese will be more evitable. However, I think that this will not help a lot since that people will surely have difficulty adapting to the change, even if they are very well adapted to the Chinese teachings of certain subjects like mathematics in primary school, they have to readapt when they go to secondary levels. Do you even think that it is feasible to do that?
From what I know, mm lee thought that anybody could handle two languages, which certainly proved wrong looking at the situation now. My mum commented that what they want is people who are fluent in their English, have their creativity thinking but still holding on to their Asian values, like mm Lee. But if everybody has the intelligence of mm lee, mm lee would have been a nobody then. Life is full of contradictions. I knew that my Chinese was far better then my English ( not because my command of Chinese is very good but vice versa) thus I was wondering why I can’t really improve my English. When I asked my mum about it, she told me that Chinese is harder to handle because we have to remember every stroke of a word whereas in English, we will be able to write out the word based on the sound of the word. I pondered whether this is really true but after a while I simply gave up because I knew that interests have to play a major role in it. When you are willing to put in the hard work, you will certainly reap results. Maybe I should just face my problem that I have been trying to avoid this problem for as long as I lived. I should seriously think what I should do with it. Maybe I should read novels or something likewise. I am not too sure whether I will execute my vague plans in the future but I will seriously try my best.
I am too lazy to continue today. Maybe I will continue some other times.
Cheers!
( it was suppose to be a long time ago)
Firstly, I have went out four days out of seven days, which I felt was quite stupid because I went to orchard for like 3 times this week, not that orchard is a very nice place to hang out but it seem to be a norm for teenagers to go there now. (P/s: I am still a teenager!! Haha… just want to say it a few more months before I officially step into the era of the twenties. It is kind of scary though but age is something that comes naturally, I think)
Was sort of thinking how should I celebrate my Christmas this year, without anything is mind is sort of bad because I seriously don’t know what to do. Gift list are suppose to be up already but my mind is too caught up with my new hobby which is reading novels from an author named “yi su”. I think I am having an addiction currently because I have been reading her novels for the past week and I managed to complete five of her books. It is quite an accomplishment since I know I dread reading storybooks but something just attracts me to her style of writing. Don’t ever think they are love novels because I think they are just imaginary, ideal life that not many will achieve, maybe 1 % of the whole population in the world or even non existent. I think that love novels are just a fraud, making life seem so darn interesting and without worries. Couples bicker about stupid small things and always, a happy ending. I seriously don’t think that I would be having that kind of life so I just stick with realistic authors. The author I just mentioned is more of a realistic writer. She portrayed life with different difficulties and make me have a different perspective of life. Not that it had changed me totally but small changes will lead the overall change in life. ( I am really sorry but I think I am starting to write rubbish) However, I will still recommend the books she wrote to people who like Chinese novels and realistic ones. ( p/s: she has wrote over 200 novels until now and I think they are still publishing her books)
So much about my new found hobby which I am glad that I have enjoyed. Nothing beats a relaxing day without anything to do, drinking my milo and reading my books with one or two pieces of biscuits to chew on. Now I know why life is worth living. Heeehee…. Next on due is is is is….. I am not sure what I want to say. Let me think for one second…. Okay, I shall talk about the new “hot” topic that has been going round in the newspapers these few days. If you saw the newspapers in recent weeks, a lot of them were about Chinese in Singapore. Apparently, the government has discovered that Chinese in Singapore are not so well conversed in mandarin and some even think that Chinese is just an idiotic subject that pulls down their grade. I recognize that there are exceptions but the rising number of people who are feeling that mandarin are useless are increasing in great speed. thus the government set a policy where more subjects will be taught in Chinese so that the usage of Chinese will be more evitable. However, I think that this will not help a lot since that people will surely have difficulty adapting to the change, even if they are very well adapted to the Chinese teachings of certain subjects like mathematics in primary school, they have to readapt when they go to secondary levels. Do you even think that it is feasible to do that?
From what I know, mm lee thought that anybody could handle two languages, which certainly proved wrong looking at the situation now. My mum commented that what they want is people who are fluent in their English, have their creativity thinking but still holding on to their Asian values, like mm Lee. But if everybody has the intelligence of mm lee, mm lee would have been a nobody then. Life is full of contradictions. I knew that my Chinese was far better then my English ( not because my command of Chinese is very good but vice versa) thus I was wondering why I can’t really improve my English. When I asked my mum about it, she told me that Chinese is harder to handle because we have to remember every stroke of a word whereas in English, we will be able to write out the word based on the sound of the word. I pondered whether this is really true but after a while I simply gave up because I knew that interests have to play a major role in it. When you are willing to put in the hard work, you will certainly reap results. Maybe I should just face my problem that I have been trying to avoid this problem for as long as I lived. I should seriously think what I should do with it. Maybe I should read novels or something likewise. I am not too sure whether I will execute my vague plans in the future but I will seriously try my best.
I am too lazy to continue today. Maybe I will continue some other times.
Cheers!
( it was suppose to be a long time ago)
December 03, 2004
another post
Went out with my bestest best friend on Monday and the first thing that I see the change in her is that she is much more confident of her looks, wearing short skirt and heels. For me, I am still caught in the vicious cycle of not daring to wear skirt and all my shoes (except my slippers) are now in hall. Seeing her change makes me happy cause she has grown out of the era of “I don’t care about my looks”. I suppose lots of girls have either not have this stage or have grown out of the stage. For me, I have resisted change because I didn’t want to be part of the crowd and being “I want to be pretty” is just too much for me. I can’t imagine myself freaking out small pimples after a while or putting make up whenever I go into the toilet. She told me that change is normal which I have to agree as everybody will change after some time. It is a matter of what change has occurred in you. For me, through the first semester of the university years, I have learnt the true meaning of do your best and the rest don’t matter. I realized that if I wanted to compete with other people, I would have committed suicide and die. Also found out that I didn’t work as hard as before. It is my mistake and I make a vow that I shall not make the same mistake anymore and I mean it. if I didn’t do that, I have friends that will remind me so boy boy, next time cannot go out so often or else I can’t get my degree then who “yang” ni? So must understand okay? It’s for the future of us. You must also remind me that I have to put a lot of time in studies too. Although people may think that I am still immature and stuffs like that, I believe I will still hold on to my principle. :D
Having serious problems with my self confidence again, I mean AGAIN!!!! Oh my god, when will this stop? I ask myself but apparently, I don’t have an answer. I just feel that I am not good for my boy boy. He has already assured me about it but why???!?!? I am so damn pissed now. I think I will have to change this thinking of mine sooner or later or else I will be in deep trouble next time in my life. Something else that I have found out, the sea waves really has a soothing effect. Due to my confusion internally, I have gone to harbourfront to think about my mind. I needed to relax everything that I was thinking and the best thing is to feel the sea breeze and hear the sea waves. Nothing beats that!!! I am not sure about you but after being in the city for so long, it is the first time I think that the sea is a form of relaxation. I just love to sit and stare into the space. Blank my mind and forget everything that comes into my mind. Whenever I have insomnia, I will also clear my mind slowly. At first, everything will seem very complicated and crowded in my mind with a lot of freezy lines all around, next my mind will slowly be blank by wiping out the lines. This is another form of relaxation for me. Sometimes, I will be puzzled on why my mind is so cluttered. What is actually bothering me? I am not sure.
Having serious problems with my self confidence again, I mean AGAIN!!!! Oh my god, when will this stop? I ask myself but apparently, I don’t have an answer. I just feel that I am not good for my boy boy. He has already assured me about it but why???!?!? I am so damn pissed now. I think I will have to change this thinking of mine sooner or later or else I will be in deep trouble next time in my life. Something else that I have found out, the sea waves really has a soothing effect. Due to my confusion internally, I have gone to harbourfront to think about my mind. I needed to relax everything that I was thinking and the best thing is to feel the sea breeze and hear the sea waves. Nothing beats that!!! I am not sure about you but after being in the city for so long, it is the first time I think that the sea is a form of relaxation. I just love to sit and stare into the space. Blank my mind and forget everything that comes into my mind. Whenever I have insomnia, I will also clear my mind slowly. At first, everything will seem very complicated and crowded in my mind with a lot of freezy lines all around, next my mind will slowly be blank by wiping out the lines. This is another form of relaxation for me. Sometimes, I will be puzzled on why my mind is so cluttered. What is actually bothering me? I am not sure.
heehee.....
As promised, I’m back to my blogging. I think I should be blogging more often these few weeks and go into dormant stage due to the school days that await me in January. I do not dread my university life but whoever said that it was honeymoon was totally out. I’m not sure about other universities but in NUS, once you stop working hard, it will be hard for you to catch up. In my situation, I would say that it was rather true. In the past semester, besides studying everyday, slogging over tutorials and having talking sessions with my room mate, I was involved in a rather different event, which is a hall production which was held in August, I think. Time has passed me so fast that I cannot remember dates anymore. Time ticks every second pass me. The schedules are so packed that it seemed that time passes so fast. Three months would be a dread for me if I hadn’t studied and the period of time where I was doing practically nothing is just not the life for me. I realized I needed to do something that is fulfilling and I regretted not doing anything for the holiday before I started my university. There was so much time for me to waste that I don’t even consider them precious at all. But now, every second counts and I am just glad that I didn’t realized that too late.
I am obviously not talking about my exams. It is kind of a dread to me. Nevertheless, there are a hell lot of things that I can do besides having exams.
Learning to let go failure and picking up from there is a rather hard thing to do. I have tried it myself this semester where exams aren’t going exactly smoothly but I shall persevere next time. I shall push myself to the limit without breaking my neck and hopefully, there will be improvement in me. As you can obviously see, I am really not looking forward to seeing the results for this semester. Enough of that, I wanted to talk about other things other than studies (However, I would be very likely to grumble about my studies in the subsequent paragraphs.)
erm..... I realized that I do not have much to say other than grumbling about my studies. Let's talk about the day I went out with my very very good friend yesterday after I finished my examination.
I was actually meeting my friend (for short, I will use sr as it's her initials) and her friend at expo but I realised that my sense of time was too terrible that I decided to let go the opportunity to go to the animation exhibition. But to my surprise, they commented that there was nothing there and the exhibition was really small and there were stupid games going around at that point of time. I was actually relieved that I didn't do down as it would only mean that I would waste my time and money on traveling. We met up at orchard as I wanted to see whether there were any changes that had happened to Orchard. not forgetting that I wanted to see the Christmas decoration.( I am not actually looking forward to the decorations though as I wasn't expecting something great from the start)
when I reached somerset, I went up and there were people distributing the Singapore idol calendar and one of them were holding the flag featuring Taurik.( I am not sure whether I wrote his name correctly because I am simply not in to Singapore idol) However, the funny thing that I saw was that when one of them attempted to give the calendar to a girl, she just showed her poorly done Styrofoam board with SYL on it. I was actually laughing deep down when I saw that scene as it was kind of stupid in the girl's act. I don't know about you but I frankly think that the rivalry between the two finalists is heating up. Heehee.....
I met up with sr and friend and started walking down Orchard. But... I regretted my choice when I saw the crowd in at the traffic lights. I knew that I wasn't going to enjoy walking in Orchard today. Not forgetting the utterly disappointing decorations which seem like some unorganized hanging of streamers and whatever it's on the tree. It’s too terrible that I do not wish to comment any further. (See the degree of hate that I have for the decorations!) We only walked for about 2-3 hours and I decided we are out of this place. It was getting so congested on that side and I was thinking of my other half.
So we went to take neocard with sr and the results are quite satisfying actually. She smiled naturally, without spectacles and hair let down. If you want to see the picture of that neocard, go to my friendster and find. Maybe I will post it up or something like that. Have been slacking so much that this post was meant to be done on Saturday, and on Wednesday, I am still typing it now. I’m sorry guys. Have been feeling so lazy these few days that I have never entered this blog entry. So this is all for today.
Cheers!
I am obviously not talking about my exams. It is kind of a dread to me. Nevertheless, there are a hell lot of things that I can do besides having exams.
Learning to let go failure and picking up from there is a rather hard thing to do. I have tried it myself this semester where exams aren’t going exactly smoothly but I shall persevere next time. I shall push myself to the limit without breaking my neck and hopefully, there will be improvement in me. As you can obviously see, I am really not looking forward to seeing the results for this semester. Enough of that, I wanted to talk about other things other than studies (However, I would be very likely to grumble about my studies in the subsequent paragraphs.)
erm..... I realized that I do not have much to say other than grumbling about my studies. Let's talk about the day I went out with my very very good friend yesterday after I finished my examination.
I was actually meeting my friend (for short, I will use sr as it's her initials) and her friend at expo but I realised that my sense of time was too terrible that I decided to let go the opportunity to go to the animation exhibition. But to my surprise, they commented that there was nothing there and the exhibition was really small and there were stupid games going around at that point of time. I was actually relieved that I didn't do down as it would only mean that I would waste my time and money on traveling. We met up at orchard as I wanted to see whether there were any changes that had happened to Orchard. not forgetting that I wanted to see the Christmas decoration.( I am not actually looking forward to the decorations though as I wasn't expecting something great from the start)
when I reached somerset, I went up and there were people distributing the Singapore idol calendar and one of them were holding the flag featuring Taurik.( I am not sure whether I wrote his name correctly because I am simply not in to Singapore idol) However, the funny thing that I saw was that when one of them attempted to give the calendar to a girl, she just showed her poorly done Styrofoam board with SYL on it. I was actually laughing deep down when I saw that scene as it was kind of stupid in the girl's act. I don't know about you but I frankly think that the rivalry between the two finalists is heating up. Heehee.....
I met up with sr and friend and started walking down Orchard. But... I regretted my choice when I saw the crowd in at the traffic lights. I knew that I wasn't going to enjoy walking in Orchard today. Not forgetting the utterly disappointing decorations which seem like some unorganized hanging of streamers and whatever it's on the tree. It’s too terrible that I do not wish to comment any further. (See the degree of hate that I have for the decorations!) We only walked for about 2-3 hours and I decided we are out of this place. It was getting so congested on that side and I was thinking of my other half.
So we went to take neocard with sr and the results are quite satisfying actually. She smiled naturally, without spectacles and hair let down. If you want to see the picture of that neocard, go to my friendster and find. Maybe I will post it up or something like that. Have been slacking so much that this post was meant to be done on Saturday, and on Wednesday, I am still typing it now. I’m sorry guys. Have been feeling so lazy these few days that I have never entered this blog entry. So this is all for today.
Cheers!
November 06, 2004
I'm back
Seriously, I think I am not really blogging for quite a long while. I’m really not sure who has been reading my blogs nowadays. I am declaring that I will be stopping the blogging until 26th of nov, which is the end of my exams. Maybe some days in my life, I will pop up again and say hello to everybody, offer my inner thoughts and get on with my life again. However, the probability that it will happen is rather low judging from my blogging frequency nowadays. Have not been blogging for more than one month and nearing to two. Actually, time flies when I am studying. Although I have not been studying much or doing anything at all, all the lectures and all has been taking up my time. Slacking seems to be a luxury now and seriously looking forward to my holidays now. Haha….. the thought of it really makes me smile. Not really sure why but then again, I will have to mug for now. But the energy is still not coming out. hopefully, I will be able to pull through. For now, I will have to conserve my time to sleep and sleep. See you after the exams. :D
Cheers!
Cheers!
September 22, 2004
titleless 2
today, i am in the mood to blog again due to the slacking period that i want to experience during the night. it has been rather long since i blog. i know that i have been very lazy this period of time and that i have depression lately. it seems that i have got better. afterall, why be depressed? it's pointless and stupid. i have been trying to study this term break but apparently to no avial. i am too lazy to think about other stuffs and all. too much congestion of stuffs that nearly made my mind break.
i am glad that i am still surviving until now. although i may be experiencing the panda age now. i have get to know more people at least. feel that i dont open up usually. not sure why. i am trying to be sociable when i am not. some people say that blog is crap but who cares? i like it as this is where i consolidate all my thoughts. let me have a period of time dedicated to myself. not that i don't like my room mate but i would like some time for myself. it's just a paradox. i like to socialise yet i want to be alone at the same time. how many people actually feel this way too?
for today, i was packing my stuffs. with all the papers flying all around, i am getting irritated by the untidiness that i have now. actually lost two of my precious notes. wonder where have i put them. really wondering. not to forget, anybody has a good tape recorder to lend me? i desperately need one now as i will be skipping one week of my school and imagine the amount of things that i will miss during the one week. if anybody is willing to help me, please message me or just sms me? i will really appreciate it!!!! please, somebody!!! haha..... i am getting kind of crazy and hyper now.
oh ya.... something that i realised about myself lately. i don't usually give facial expressions even when i am happy or smsing or just messaging people as everybody around me tells me that i look damn serious when i am sending a sms and i can be damn dull looking when i am laughing in msn. i am really laughing and it's just that i am too lazy to show it on my face. people who talk to me personally will think that i am very dull as i have no facial expressions. haha.... think that is the reason why i am so solitary even when i want to socialise.
something to ponder upon today. i will be writing tomorrow again in my laptop and hopefully, i will be able to post it asap. :D
i am glad that i am still surviving until now. although i may be experiencing the panda age now. i have get to know more people at least. feel that i dont open up usually. not sure why. i am trying to be sociable when i am not. some people say that blog is crap but who cares? i like it as this is where i consolidate all my thoughts. let me have a period of time dedicated to myself. not that i don't like my room mate but i would like some time for myself. it's just a paradox. i like to socialise yet i want to be alone at the same time. how many people actually feel this way too?
for today, i was packing my stuffs. with all the papers flying all around, i am getting irritated by the untidiness that i have now. actually lost two of my precious notes. wonder where have i put them. really wondering. not to forget, anybody has a good tape recorder to lend me? i desperately need one now as i will be skipping one week of my school and imagine the amount of things that i will miss during the one week. if anybody is willing to help me, please message me or just sms me? i will really appreciate it!!!! please, somebody!!! haha..... i am getting kind of crazy and hyper now.
oh ya.... something that i realised about myself lately. i don't usually give facial expressions even when i am happy or smsing or just messaging people as everybody around me tells me that i look damn serious when i am sending a sms and i can be damn dull looking when i am laughing in msn. i am really laughing and it's just that i am too lazy to show it on my face. people who talk to me personally will think that i am very dull as i have no facial expressions. haha.... think that is the reason why i am so solitary even when i want to socialise.
something to ponder upon today. i will be writing tomorrow again in my laptop and hopefully, i will be able to post it asap. :D
September 10, 2004
titleless
Decided to write a blog today because firstly, I do not have lab sessions at all and I really need to do something other then study. What have I to write? Nothing basically. I don’t have a very flourish life like other people. Oh… I suddenly remembered that I went for supper last night at fong seng at last. Was thinking when will I ever get a chance to go eat. Apparently it happened last night. Yea… my hall friends and I went to eat not the famous cheese prata, but the burger shop beside. It looks appealing actually as I didn’t eat it anyway. Wasn’t in the good mood to eat anything at that point of time. As a Aquarian, I needed space for myself which apparently my friends don’t realize and keep asking me why am I stoning, am I tired and that kind of things. Although I kept assuring them I am alright, they kept asking me and i…. hmm… (do not wish to elaborate more. haha... )
Time is just insufficient for me, people complaining that I wasn’t taking out time for them. What do you want me to do? Quit university and stay at home is it?!??!?! really hope that they understand that I have no life currently. Trying my very best to balance all my stuffs out. Trying to study in a rather unconducive (I know it’s wrong but…) environment. Suddenly realized that it really takes self-discipline to excel. I may want to make this blog private again. It’s so damn sad when I can’t get to say what I want to say. Haha…. Thinking of going to beach tonight but nobody is apparently accompanying me which is kind of scary. Wonder what I should do today. Commit suicide? Go and shop? Or just stone the whole damn day? Actually, stoning is really insufficient for me and with people pissed off with me. maybe i should have other plans
(as again, I am not going to really do what I stated in the above so don’t worry)
Cheers
Time is just insufficient for me, people complaining that I wasn’t taking out time for them. What do you want me to do? Quit university and stay at home is it?!??!?! really hope that they understand that I have no life currently. Trying my very best to balance all my stuffs out. Trying to study in a rather unconducive (I know it’s wrong but…) environment. Suddenly realized that it really takes self-discipline to excel. I may want to make this blog private again. It’s so damn sad when I can’t get to say what I want to say. Haha…. Thinking of going to beach tonight but nobody is apparently accompanying me which is kind of scary. Wonder what I should do today. Commit suicide? Go and shop? Or just stone the whole damn day? Actually, stoning is really insufficient for me and with people pissed off with me. maybe i should have other plans
(as again, I am not going to really do what I stated in the above so don’t worry)
Cheers
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