CrYiNg

Today I went to orchard road and saw my ex-band conductor but I didn’t go up to say hi as he was comforting a girl who was crying at a corner. I was happily eating my taro pie and I figured that I should not go up and disturb them as it isn’t the right atmosphere to do so.
For love? For friendship? For grades? For family problems? Or for other unknown reasons? I’m not sure as I don’t know her at all but it started my brain cells to work again. Since young, I was named a crybaby due to the sole reason that I will use my cry to soft any problems that I encounter. As I grow older and being more mature, I feel that crying no longer helps. You may argue that crying may lighten the mental burden. It may be true but personally, I don’t feel that way. Crying is useless for me. It can’t solve the problem and I get scolding or reprimanded. Either way, it serves no purpose at all.
I started to turn back and look at circumstances that I will cry. When I was 0-1 years old, I will cry because I needed to drink milk or when I have a fall. It’s normal to everybody. As I grow to an age of about 4-5 years old, I started to cry because I could not get what I wanted to buy be it sweets or walkie-talkie. (I’m not into dolls and I’m pondering about the reason. =P) I’m not really sure whether I cried from 6-10 as that seem to be my happiest days of my life where I’m enjoying too much of it and forgot about crying. Many memories that I will update you in my later entries. :D During early teenage years, people was crying because of jealousy, be it friendship or siblings. (see? I’m using people and not me because I wasn’t crying because of that) I’m blaming that on hormonal changes. I feel that it’s due to hormonal changes where people become insecure and desperately want an identity in the vast world. It’s evident when you see teenagers dress themselves up and joining gangs or acting like one. The latter is one of the acts that I feel is totally naïve and stupid even when I was going through that stage. I was crying because of grades even until when I graduated from junior college(high school). After I had my A-level examinations and had some minimal experience on working life, I felt that I was stupid because life is not about grades? Why did I cry? Maybe it’s due to the fact that I can’t afford to lose due to my ego. However, I changed my perspective, I will give my best shot and that’s it! That’s it! Haha…. Talking about my minimal working life, I cried too! Something I find that it’s hilarious because at that point of time, I was thinking that I’m not up to the expectation of my boss and get frustrated. I forgot that I have tried my best and I pushed myself to the limit. Something I overlooked and at think of it, I blamed myself for being unconfident about my performance.
My life is still going on as I’m going to live out of precious my teenage years and I shall not elaborate why people cry when they are getting older as I have never personally been through it. I feel that I will have certain degree of biasness and thus I shall not risk being accused of having one now.
As we live through our lives, we start to understand things in a better light and learn how to cope with difficult situations in a more apprehensive way . personally, I learnt that crying is no longer to any problems except for mental alleviation. In the future, I may have see crying in a differently and I will update it. I’m feeling excitement as well as fear towards my future. I have many lessons to be learned and I’m Really looking forward to my destiny!
Cheers!