i am like religiously blogging everyday and yesterday was one day that i blogged for 4 times which i consider something bizarre.
a feeling of weirdness overwhelmed me as i am writing this very sentence. the weird feeling of being lonely even when there is someone out there that is with me. maybe i am just a time filler. maybe i was just a stupid girl that cannot control her emotions. since getting into a relationship has changed me quite a bit. i no longer am i usual self. if you have reading my blog regularly, you would know that i am not very fond of change. my friends saw a change in me, which simply means that i have changed alot for them to sense the change. is it because i became more dependant on others? is it because i wear skirts? (i find this rather weird since everytime i wear a skirt, my friends will be sort of exclaiming that i wore a skirt. haha.... i wear skirts okay? got a lot of skirts in my wardrobe. i am not a tomboy.....) do i become more understanding? i realised that i become more irrational which is bad. i have a bad time adapting to life now. i know that i should be enjoying my holidays and enjoying every bit of freedom but i simply don't really meet my friends. don't know why i'm like that too. maybe it's because lydia had went overseas which made me feel kind of lost. i used to spend my holidays with her, meeting her like every week in the past. things have changed and i doubt i will be going out with her as often since her life has changed. i still don't like to shop so maybe, i can't shop with her. maybe that's why i am here blogging and not going out.
weird weird weird!!!! haha.... very weird....
maybe i should sought other ways to release myself... i have been reading but still i feel an emptiness in me. maybe i should become a christian so as to find companionship. maybe i really should consider it.
i have changed. changed to a person that cannot stand loneliness. sorry that i have made you suffer boy. i will adapt, sooner or later.....